


You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are

by literallywhat



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay John Murphy (The 100), M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Tags will be added, This is going to be long, Underage Drinking, buckle up it’s a roller coaster ride, finn’s a dick, it develops over time, miller and murphy are bffs, murphamy is endgame obvs, murphy’s an artist, octavia and murphy friendship, raven and murphy friendship, unhealthy finn/murphy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21603934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallywhat/pseuds/literallywhat
Summary: At some point he winded up straddling him and, fuck, he was even more beautiful up close. Murphy only took his face in for a few seconds, to try and avoid suspicion. His tan skin, sprinkled with freckles—he was nothing short of beautiful.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Finn Collins/John Murphy, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 80
Kudos: 130





	1. Miller and the Extras

Murphy didn’t think he had a hard life. Sure his dad died when he was seven, was told it was his fault when his mother was drunk—which was all the time—she even threw her empty bottles at him and hit him at times. He still has the scars. Did he have a hard life? Probably not. Probably not even when his mother died at 10 after drinking herself to death, her last words ringing in Murphy’s ears forever, “You killed your dad.” But did he have a hard life? He would say no. His best friend, Miller, took him in. It was pretty cool. Mr. Miller gave him his own room, new clothes, and actually fed him. He got to live for free with his best friend. He would say he was lucky.

He would say he was lucky until his best friend made more friends. Sure Miller always had these ‘extra’ friends that honestly Murphy saw as disposable, but sometime in their freshman year of high school Miller and the extras got super close. Miller pushed for a long three years for Murphy to be friends with them, but it was like mixing oil and water. Some things just don’t work. 

First there was Clarke Griffin. There was nothing too special about her, just that she and Murphy seemed to butt heads. Maybe it was the fact that she was a little stuck up, or maybe it was the fact that she had so much going for her at such a young age. Probably the latter, but he would never admit that.

Lexa Woods. Clarke’s girlfriend. Murphy didn’t have much to say about her other than the fact that she’s just a bitch who doesn’t really get along with anyone. Which made it all the more frustrating that, that group accepted her, Lexa, the stone cold bitch, but not Murphy, a sarcastic asshole. He kind of resented her for that.

Next was Raven Reyes. Now that bitch was a piece of work. Murphy made one  tiny mistake in second grade, tripping her during a game of tag, resulting in her permanently damaging her leg. She now walks with a limp and she’d never let Murphy forget it. Even if he was sorry. Which, to be honest, he wasn’t really. He was, what, eight? Plus, a limp never held her back. Besides when she has to wear a brace on particularly bad days—those days Murphy usually feels a weird twinge of emotion go through him, but he always brushes it off. Her attitude towards him was probably also helped by the fact that Murphy was sorta dating/mostly just fucking her ex, Finn Collins. But he’s a story for another day.

Jasper Jordan and Monty Green. They kinda go together, Murphy thinks. He’s never seen them apart anyway. They don’t have a problem with him, it’s more of him having a problem with them. Mostly Jasper, but you get Monty and you get Jasper too. But fuck if he wasn’t gonna use them to get high once in a while.

Then there was Bellamy-fucking-Blake. Fuck that guy. Not only was he a homophobic piece of shit, but he was a hot, homophobic piece of shit. The worst kind, Murphy thought. They got along not too long ago, until he was outed after sleeping with one of the other classmate’s father. He had no idea how the word got out, but Bellamy started acting weird around him, ignoring him when his football friends were around. Doing nothing when they called him a faggot. He never called him one, no, but he never told them to stop. Also, as previously mentioned, he’s hot. Like a sculpted god. Fuck if Murphy wouldn’t just drop to his knees if Bellamy even suggested...no. He’s a dick. A dick with a good dick, he imagined.

The only saving grace the the group was Octavia Blake. Her and her boyfriend, Lincoln, although he wasn’t part of their little ‘clique’ yet, he was an extra to the extras. They were both kind to Murphy, and they were pretty chill too. Lincoln was a silent man, Octavia being the more outgoing one, but she always tried to include Murphy. Especially in those awkward moments that Miller makes him wait for Finn with him and his buddies. They mostly just sit in silence or while Octavia tells some wild story. This time, though, Mr. Miller was out for the weekend and they were drinking.

Murphy walked downstairs and plopped down on the loveseat in the middle of the living room where Miller and the extras were hanging out. “I heard there were drinks?” He took note of the half empty bottle of vodka Mr. Miller kept stored away, and went to pick it up before Miller pulled it away from him. “The fuck?” He questioned his friend.

“You wanna get into this now?” Miller questioned back, eyeing his friends.

“Please get into it now.” Raven chimed in with a wicked smile.

Miller just rolled his eyes. “You know how you get when you drink. I’m not letting you around my friends like that.”

Murphy gave him a half smile, and snatched the bottle out of his friend’s hand and took a long gulp from the glass bottle. He set it down on the table when Miller glared at him. “Finn’s gonna be here any minute, so I won’t embarrass you.” He have him a mock pity voice and a little pout. He reached to pinch Miller’s cheek, but his hand was slapped away. Murphy pretended not to notice how quiet it got when he mentioned Finn’s name.

<Murphy< you almost here? your ex is currently staring daggers at me

>Finn> Driving now. Be there in a min.

Murphy looked out the window for a minute and frowned when Finn hadn’t shown up yet. He grabbed the bottle of vodka off the table and stood up. “Send Finn to my room when he gets here.” And with that, he walked up the stairs with alcohol filling his mouth. He was sure they were going to talk about him—ask how he gets when he’s drunk. He gets...a little touchy. Some would say horny, but Murphy would just say it’s just him being friendly; even if it totally is just him wanting to get fucked.

Murphy was lost in his thoughts and a haze of alcohol when his bedroom door opened. He gave Finn a crooked smile as he closed the door behind him.

“Took you long enough.”

“At least I showed up,” Finn spat out. 

Murphy couldn’t tell if Finn was angry or if he, himself, was just drunk. Probably both, but he chose to ignore him being angry. He was always angry. “Let’s get on with it.” He began to unbuckle his belt when his eyes found the bottle of alcohol that Murphy was holding. “Shit, give me some.” He reached his hand out.

“Nooo,” Murphy laughed and took another swig. “Dude, you’re driving. Not gonna have you leave shitfaced and find out about your car twisted around some tree-“ His speech was cut off by a sharp slap to the face. With his head turned to the side, his mouth hung open. “Finn...” He looked at him. “What the fuck?”

“You can’t fucking tell me what to do. You think I don’t know how to handle myself?” He snapped.

Murphy rolled his eyes, not wanting to further their fight and end up getting his ass kicked, that’s how their meetings would go if they didn’t fuck. Murphy could hold his own in a fight, but he was much smaller than Finn. He actually did a double take looking at him, he seemed...bigger than usual. Stronger. Definitely could beat the shit out of him stronger. It was probably his imagination and slight fear messing with him, although he would never admit to being afraid. Of anything, actually.

Murphy set the bottle of vodka down, and gave Finn a knowing look—actually more of a “let’s fuck” look.

Finn began to laugh. “You’re pathetic, you know that?”

Murphy blinked back. “Are you already drunk?” He asked, surprised by how mean Finn was being, and suddenly found himself on the floor, pain blooming in his cheek. He was definitely drunk. And that was definitely something he should’ve kept to himself, Murphy thought. Finn had two moods when he was drunk, horny and angry. This time he was angry. Murphy didn’t understand that, because alcohol didn’t make him angry, if anything it turned him into a less hardened version of himself, someone you could probably get along with—if he wasn’t trying to get fucked by any remotely attractive guy that walked by. 

They must have been making noise, because the next thing he knew Miller was in the room pulling Finn away from him. Yelling something about getting out and never coming back. Then Miller was kneeling next to him. “Hey, what happened? Shit,” He touched Murphy’s cheek softly. “Did he hit you?”

Murphy sat up and reached for the bottle of vodka, just out of reach he flailed his arm around. Miller rolled his eyes as he got the hint, and grabbed the bottle for him. Once it was in Murphy’s hands he took a long drink from the bottle.

“Murphy,” Miller waved his hand in front of his face. “Hello?”

“I’m not deaf,” Murphy put the bottle down. “He may have...” Murphy’s eyes were trained on the ground. When Miller opened his mouth to say something, Murphy continued. “I’m drunk so it doesn’t hurt. It’s fine. Just go back to your friends, I’ll hang out with this vodka.” He gave the bottle a smile.

“No, man. You’ve had enough.” He noticed the significant decrease in the amount of liquid in the bottle. “But,” He stood and held out his hand for Murphy to grab, which he did. “You should come with me.” He pulled him up.

Murphy laughed and stumbled a little. “That’s a joke, right?”

“No. Come on.” And he was out of the door, leaving it open for Murphy to follow. And he didn’t know why, but he did.

“Why did Finn just storm out of here? What-“ Jasper was cut off by Monty’s hand once he saw Murphy trailing behind Miller.

“You all know Murphy.” Miller ignored Jasper and sat down, vaguely gesturing to his best friend.

“Yeah he was just down here like a half hour ago.” Raven rolled her eyes.

Murphy sighed, not knowing why he even bothered, but still, he sat down on the loveseat he was sat on before.

Everyone continued their normal conversations, they seemed a bit drunk. Murphy’s eyes eventually trailed over to Bellamy. Fuck. That guy was so hot. He was downing the last of his beer, but Murphy’s eyes were trained on his throat. The way it was moving as he gulped the last of the liquid-

“So, Murphy,” Raven’s voice brought Murphy out of his thoughts. “Slept with any other dads lately?”

Miller went to open his mouth, knowing that was just going to escalate, but Murphy responded before Miller could say anything. “No, actually. But if you know of any bored parents, hit me up, kay?” He half-slurred out.

“I don’t believe he slept with anyone’s dad. I think that’s just a rumor, guys.” Clarke said, setting down her glass bottle. Murphy noticed Lexa and Monty were the only ones not drinking—designated drivers.

“No it’s true.” Murphy said. “It’s actually really easy to pick up husbands, dads, whatever you wanna call them. You just gotta find out about the weak points in their relationship, usually the mundane sex and being trapped in this life long commitment, and-“

“Okay!” Miller clapped. “Moving on,”

Murphy rolled his eyes. “But what really gets them is my lap dance. I’m fucking hot.”

“Oh?” Raven sat up. “Keep going. Or, better yet, show us.” She...smiled? Murphy couldn’t tell if it was malicious or not, but it seemed genuine.

“No one wants to see-“ Miller started.

“I just need a hot guy.” Murphy cut him off and stood up, stumbling again.

“Me!” Jasper’s voice spoke up.

“Bellamy.” Raven smirked.

Before Bellamy could even process what happened, Murphy replied, “Deal.” 

“Wait, do I get a say in this?” Bellamy said.

“Oh come on, you’re lucky.” Murphy rolled his eyes, and Jasper made a noise of agreement which caused everyone to give him a confused look. 

Raven broke the silence with an upbeat song on her phone. “Let’s see what you got.” Smirk still prominent on her face.

Murphy pushed Bellamy back into the couch and leaned in close. “I don’t have to do this if you don’t want,” He whispered in his ear, hands placed firmly on his chest.

When Bellamy whispered back an ‘it’s fine’, Murphy sank to his knees. He could have sworn Bellamy looked turned on. If he wasn’t straight, he’d put money on it. He smirked regardless, and slowly rose up the older man’s body. Murphy did what felt natural to him, no real thought in it; if he thought too much into it, he’d be too turned on, so it was better to pretend it was some old guy he was trying to seduce.

At some point he winded up straddling him and,  _fuck_ ,  he was even more beautiful up close. Murphy only took his face in for a few seconds, to try and avoid suspicion. His tan skin, sprinkled with freckles—he was nothing short of beautiful. His curly hair was a little floppy and hung just above his deep brown eyes. Murphy also noticed he had a small blush across his cheeks, and leaned in. “What,” His voice was low in Bellamy’s ear. “You don’t like being the center of attention?” Murphy hadn’t really noticed his own hand trailing down the other man’s body until he was pushed to the side and Bellamy was standing up.

“I-uh,” The curly haired man cleared his throat. “I’ll be right back. Bathroom’s upstairs, right?” He didn’t wait for a response, he just went upstairs quickly.

“Oh my god,” Raven said slowly. “That was hot!” She laughed. “I like drunk Murphy. Where has he been this whole time? He’s great.”

“I am better drunk.” Murphy shrugged and adjusted himself in Bellamy’s spot. It was warm. Everyone in the room seemed amused—save for Lexa and Miller, but six out of eight isn’t bad. He didn’t quite get a read on Bellamy, but he was blushing, so Murphy would count that as a point towards him. 

“You’re way worse drunk.” Miller had his head in his hands.

“Are you kidding? He hasn’t been an ass for a whole, like,” Raven checked the time on her phone. “Ten minutes. That’s truly a blessing.”

“Yeah, I gotta say, drunk Murphy is more...tolerable.” Clarke slurred out, trying to sound sweet. Murphy didn’t care.

“He just basically put on a sex show for you guys.” Miller lifted his head. “Lexa, you agree, right?”

Lexa just nodded.

“Murphy’s great sober and drunk.” Octavia’s voice joined the conversation.

“Thank you, O. I’d date you if I wasn’t gay.” Murphy blew a kiss at her. “I’ll take Lincoln though.” He smirked.

“Alright,” Bellamy’s voice made Murphy jump. “Time to go. Lexa?”

“What? Come on, things just got fun.” Octavia pouted.

“I’m staying, Monty’s driving me home. Murphy and I have to get to know each other a little better.” Raven moved her seat to next to Murphy, draping her arm around his shoulders. And Murphy didn’t know if this was the alcohol or not, but he felt happy to be accepted. Finally. Even if it was just everyone being drunk and him being shit faced.

It took a bit, but Clarke and Octavia eventually left with Lexa and Bellamy. He seemed like he was in a rush to get home.

“You made half my friends leave.” Miller sighed. Not really mad, what else did he expect, it was Murphy after all.

“I think it was too hot for them to handle.” Raven said.

“It was definitely too hot for someone to handle.” Monty mumbled into his glass of water, just loud enough for Murphy to hear.

_Does he mean Bellamy?_


	2. Bellamy’s Little Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy tries to do some research.

“Wait, do I get a say in this?” Bellamy tried to keep his voice level. Things were weird for him and Murphy. Or at least for him. They used to get along, but then Bellamy’s friends didn’t like Murphy, and the older man kind of went along with it, and then he graduated, so there was no point really. Besides seeing him every time they hung out at Miller’s.

But he always found Murphy to be somewhat charming, even if he was a total ass. But Bellamy was  not  gay so he was definitely not interested in getting a lap dance from a guy. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous.

Suddenly music was playing and Murphy’s hands were on his chest, the heat of his hands going through his shirt, giving him goosebumps. “I don’t have to do this if you don’t want.” His voice was low in his ear.

Before he knew what he was saying, he replied, “It’s fine.”

And then Murphy was on his knees. Bellamy’s mouth went dry and he felt his face flush. He didn’t know why, but having Murphy on his knees in front of him was incredibly hot. Murphy got up all too quickly, but slow enough for him to really take in the boy’s features.

There was a bruise growing on Murphy’s cheekbone, and he wondered if that was caused by Finn not too long ago. Murphy’s looks are hard. Everything angular and sharp, cold, piercing eyes. He looks mean. He  _ is  _ mean. But the longer Bellamy stared at the younger boy in front of him, the more beautiful he became. Kind of like a wolf. Scary and wild, but beautiful.

Murphy was all over Bellamy, and he couldn’t keep up with it. Murphy was drunk, sure, but he knew what he was doing, and fuck, he really knew what he was doing.

The next thing Bellamy knew, Murphy was straddling his hips. He felt a blush creep onto his face when he felt Murphy’s warm hand on his chest again. Bellamy was praying Murphy couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating. “What,” Murphy’s lips were practically touching Bellamy’s ear, his voice smooth and barely a whisper. “You don’t like being the center of attention?”

Bellamy noticed Murphy’s hand traveling down his body just about the same time he realized he was probably too turned on for that. He stood up quickly, pushing Murphy off him, and he said something about going to the bathroom, and ran upstairs. When he reached the top, he went to the first door on his left, and to his luck it was the bathroom. 

He looked at himself in the mirror and silently cursed. His pupils were blown and there was a blush creeping up his neck and cheeks. “Fuck, I’m just drunk. I’m just drunk.”  _ I didn’t drink a lot.  _ Bellamy shifted uncomfortably, remembering he had a problem he needed to take care of before he went downstairs. “Fuck.” He repeated under his breath.

Bellamy hissed to himself as he shoved his hand down his pants; he did  _ not  _ want to be doing this in his friend’s house of all places. And because a guy—no. It was alcohol and being touched. And maybe seeing Murphy on his knees. A little. He just hadn’t gotten laid in a while.

He ran through images of girls he’s fucked for a majority of his time in the bathroom. Just as he came, a flash of Murphy kneeling in front of him popped into his mind.

“Fuck, what the fuck.” Bellamy muttered over and over again while he cleaned himself up. He looked himself in the mirror, fixing his hair. “You’re drunk. You’re totally just drunk.”

He eventually made his way downstairs just in time to catch the end of Murphy’s sentence.

“I’ll take Lincoln though.” And Bellamy could just  hear  the smirk in his voice, but dammit it made his dick twitch.

“Alright,” Bellamy interrupted. He was pretty sure he had snuck up on at least half of them. “Time to go. Lexa?” 

“What? Come on, things just got fun.” Octavia whined.

“I’m staying, Monty’s driving me home. Murphy and I have to get to know each other a little better.” Raven said, moving next to Murphy, and if Bellamy was being honest, he was nervous about what they were going to talk about.  _ Did Murphy notice? _

Lexa got up, Clarke and Octavia the only two things standing in his way of leaving. Bellamy noticed Monty’s lingering stare, but he couldn’t quite place a reason why, so he shook it off as nothing.

“Come on, Clarke,” Lexa spoke. “I know you’d rather be home with me.” She gave her a sweet but devious smile. Something only she could do. And Murphy, but why was Bellamy thinking about that?

Clarke got up, though, and eventually Octavia was next, and they were finally out of there.

When they were all seated in the car, Octavia and Bellamy in the back, Octavia began to talk. “Why’d we have to leave, Bell? I was having fun. You know, I never get to hang out with Murphy, you suck.” She leaned her head against the window.

Bellamy noticed Clarke and Lexa having one of their ‘eye-conversations’ that Bellamy just didn’t get.

“It’s late, O.” Clarke said, still looking at Lexa who’d began to drive. “And Bell was telling me about a project he has for one of his classes, right?” Clarke finally turned her gaze to Bellamy.

Bellamy didn’t understand why Clarke was lying for him, but he was grateful. “Yeah. Big assignment due Monday.” 

“Then you shouldn’t have come out at all tonight.” Octavia rolled her eyes.

The rest of the car ride was silent, Lexa didn’t like the radio, Octavia was pissed off, and Bellamy felt...weird. He just wanted to be home and asleep.

When they got home, Bellamy thanked Lexa and Clarke, while Octavia purposefully pushed into her brother while walking towards the front door. Bellamy caught up to her, and unlocked the door.

“Why are you being so-“

“Bitchy?” She cut him off as she stepped into the house. “Because, I never get to hang out with Murphy, and especially with you guys! And we were all having fun. And it’s a  Saturday night . Fun sucker.”

“I wasn’t going to say bitchy,” Although he wasn’t going to deny that she was. “But I’m sorry. I have to work on my assignment all day tomorrow, so I need some rest.”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “You look like shit honestly. Go to bed, dummy.” A small smile cracked onto her face as she pushed Bellamy towards his room.

“Love you.” He called back before closing the door and laying down in his bed, not bothering to change out of his clothes.

Sleep came to Bellamy a lot easier than he thought, his mind was racing, sure, but it just tired him out. The mix of alcohol and post orgasm guilt knocking him right the fuck out. But unfortunately sleep wasn’t enough for him to escape his problems. 

All night, all he could dream about was Murphy, there on his knees, sucking him off. And fuck, if it wasn’t the hottest thing he could’ve imagined.

Bellamy woke up sweaty and sticky, with a text message from Miller. He rubbed his eyes and sighed deeply.  _ Was that all a dream? _

>Miller> Hey, sorry about Murphy. He gets kinda...horny?? When he’s drunk. He was really drunk last night

“Fuck,” He ran his hands down his face.

<Bellamy< It’s cool. Sorry I left early, I have an assignment I forgot about.

>Miller> It’s okay man. And fuck, not excited for college lol. Checking out campuses today

Bellamy sighed. So last night was in fact, real. He ran his hands over his face, and then got into the shower. He turned the hot water up as much as he could stand, and let the previous night wash off him, before actually cleaning himself.

He began to lose himself in the heat when a loud banging at the door promptly snapped him back into reality.

“Yes?” He called out.

“Hurry up! I have to shower, and I’m going out in an hour!” Octavia yelled back.

Okay. So she’s going to see Lincoln. That’s the only reason why she would need so long, for her, to get ready. She started putting her hair in these braids, they’re really pretty, Bellamy thinks, sometimes Lexa has them. It really changed up Octavia’s look. Actually, just being with Lincoln in general made her different. Not bad. She’s just...so much tougher than she was. She was always tough, but she was a lot tougher after Lincoln came into her life and she started spending more time at his house with his friends. 

Bellamy was in the same grade as Lincoln, and Lincoln and Lexa were friends, so Bellamy actually met her before Clarke did. He was the one who introduced them. But Lincoln and Lexa knew each other from a clan. That’s the best Bellamy got out of it at least. Not a religion, and definitely not a cult. Apparently that was very offensive, Bellamy didn’t know at the time.

“Hello?” Another bang at the door. “Are you almost done?”

“Yeah, O.” He called back, and let the water run over himself for a few more seconds before shutting it off. He quickly ran a towel through his hair, and then wrapped it around his waist. “Do you want me to make you breakfast?” He said as he opened the door.

Octavia was standing there with her arms crossed. “No thanks, Lincoln will make me something.” She gave him a small smile and then pushed him out of the bathroom.

Bellamy gave himself a small laugh, walked to his room, quickly got dressed, and went to the kitchen to eat—well he wasn’t going to cook if it was just for him. Plus, he wasn’t the best at cooking, the best he can do is scrambled eggs and toast. So he poured himself a bowl of cereal, and sat at the kitchen table with his phone. 

He sat there, stirring his cereal, taking an occasional bite, and absentmindedly scrolling through his phone, for a while. Octavia eventually left, and he went back to his room. Pulling out his laptop, he opened google and typed in “gay porn”. His heart was racing.

A bunch of websites popped up. He didn’t recognize a lot of them, but a few he did. The second option intrigued him. “Gay Porn Videos & Free Gay Men Twink Sex Movies | Pornhub”. 

“Twink?” Bellamy stared at the word before opening a new tab and typing in “define twink”. If he’s doing research, he has to do it right, he justified. The definition that popped up was vague, so he went back to the other tab and clicked on the most familiar website, then typed ‘twink’ into the search bar.

Tons of results showed up, and Bellamy scrolled through them all. None really made him feel how Murphy made him feel. He was beginning to get over his confusion when he scrolled upon a video of what looked to be like pornstar Murphy. The title was “Straight Dude Fucks Twink Richard’s Mouth”. His breath instantly caught in his throat. He clicked the video.

Bellamy cringed at the shitty dialogue and skipped to a minute in, and there Twink Richard was, with a dick in his mouth. He couldn’t see the face of the man the pornstar was blowing, so he began to imagine it was him. Him and Murphy.

His pants became uncomfortably tight, so he distractedly unbuttoned his jeans, and started palming his dick. The pornstar gagged a little as he took the other guy down further, and Bellamy wondered if Murphy could take him fully. It’d be hot to see him gag on his dick, but it would also feel amazing if he could take him fully down.

He had his hand wrapped around his shaft, pumping slow at first, but when he clicked on the next video with the same two people, he moved his hand faster. This time Twink Richard was getting his ass pounded. His hand tightened, and his eyes closed as he pictured fucking Murphy.

He imagined him tight. Tight and warm. Bellamy began thinking about what faces Murphy would make. If he would smirk, or if that smirk would falter. And thinking about himself being the one to make that smirk crack and make him moan, fuck he came right then and there.

Bellamy had to talk to Murphy. But how the hell was he going to do that? He can’t just show up at his school, well he could, but that’s too public. He couldn’t show up at Miller’s house, because, well, Miller was there. Wait. No he wasn’t.

Bellamy bit his lip, cleaned himself up, and began pacing around his room.  _ What does twink mean? Is Murphy a twink? He looks like that other guy. Fuck. Did I just get off to Murphy? Fucking  Murphy ?!  _

It’s not like this is the first time he’s looked at Murphy and thought, wow that’s an attractive man. But never once did he cum to the man, let alone masturbate to him twice in the span of a little over 12 hours. He was screwed. He needed to talk to Murphy.

“Fuck it.” He pulled out his phone and clicked on his and Miller’s texts.

<Bellamy< Hey, I think I left my wallet at your house. Mind if I stop over and get it?

>Miller> I’m out looking at colleges rn but Murph is home and he usually leaves the door unlocked so you can just walk in 

<Bellamy< Sounds great. Thanks!

>Miller> Do me a favor and lock the door when you leave? Lol thanks

<Bellamy< No problem.

He was gonna talk to Murphy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short!! it’s just i tried to keep it from bellamy’s sort of view for the chapter, the next one is going to be more of a mix, i just thought it fit better for the first two to only focus on one each ?? i dunno, i haven’t written in a while so i’m rusty lmao  
> thank you for reading! comments and kudos are appreciated <3 :)


	3. The Talk

Murphy had his tongue between this teeth as he was finishing up the hair on Bellamy’s drawing. He wasn’t being creepy. In fact, he was so  _ not  _ creepy that he drew all of Miller’s friends. And of course Bellamy is one of them. Although he worked on that one for much longer. He was getting the last curl just right when a loud knock at his door startled him, causing him to have a little wave in his stroke.

“Fuck,” He began to smudge it with his finger. “Fuck off!” Murphy had no idea who it was, considering Miller and Mr. Miller were out looking at colleges. Murphy already decided to only apply to a local community college. It’s not like he’d get into any other school with his record and grades. But he didn’t want to be interrupted, whether it be by Miller, or someone breaking into their house. Maybe he should’ve locked the doors...

His door flung open only to show the man he had been drawing. Murphy quickly shut the notebook and looked up at Bellamy.

“I didn’t say come in. In fact, I believe what I said was ‘fuck off’?” He felt himself growing angry. What if he was doing something? Doing someone. Fuck, if Finn was over, he could’ve been naked and-

“I need to talk to you.” He sounded nervous.

Murphy’s anger quickly faded. “What’s wrong?” He kept his hard expression though. He couldn’t let his guard down around Bellamy.

Bellamy closed the door behind him as he fully stepped in. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, just, uh,” He cleared his throat. “Just, um, how’d you know you were gay?”

Murphy scoffed and gave a small laugh before answering simply, “I like sucking dick.”

Bellamy stood there for a moment, calculating what to say next. “What if you liked girls though?”

“Then I’d be straight?”

“But what if you liked both.” Bellamy pushed.

“Then I’d be bisexual.” 

“Oh,” And he paused for a moment. “Even if you only liked one girl?”

“Bellamy what are you on about? We’re not even friends, talk to fuckin’ Clarke or something. She’s bisexual, isn’t she?” Murphy huffed out and put his notebook under his pillow.

Bellamy was quiet for a bit, with a look on his face that read something like “fuck why didn’t I go to Clarke”. Murphy let out another small laugh, but then narrowed his eyes. He leaned in closer to Bellamy, still seated on his bed.

“Why  _ did  _ you come to me?” His voice was low.

Bellamy swallowed hard—he didn’t have a good answer. He honestly didn’t. Fuck, why didn’t he go to Clarke? Or fucking google. Anything. Anything, anywhere would have been better than asking  _ Murphy _ . 

Murphy found a spike of confidence and adrenaline rush through him. Bellamy wouldn’t have come to him if it didn’t have something to do with last night. Right? Murphy may be a little crazy, but maybe he was onto something. Maybe. And fuck it. Murphy didn’t have to see Bellamy ever again if he didn’t want. He could totally avoid him when he comes over. Murphy figured, fuck it.

Suddenly, Bellamy found himself being backed against the wall next to the foot of Murphy’s bed. “Answer the question, Blake.” A smirk was playing at his lips as he stood about half an inch from touching Bellamy.

The older man swallowed again, his cock twitching at that fucking smirk. “I...don’t know? I don’t know. Because I-“ He didn’t know where he was going with this. Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, Murphy interrupted him.

“Does this have something to do with the other night? You been thinking about me?” He asked a little hopefully. Murphy began to run a single finger down Bellamy’s chest. He wanted to feel, to see all his muscles. He restrained himself. Just one finger would do for then.

“I...” Bellamy sighed again, seeing no way out of this other than the truth. “It’s just when you were on your knees it-“

Murphy let out a little huff of air, and his expression was unreadable for a moment, and then that damn smirk was back within seconds. “So that’s what this is about, why didn’t you just ask?” He hooked his fingers around Bellamy’s belt loops and pulled him closer. 

Bellamy’s heart was pounding. He could hear it. “What?” He blinked back.

“If you wanted a blowjob all you had to do was ask.” 

“I-what? You, wait,”

“You want this, right?” Murphy searched his eyes.

“Yes.” He breathed out.

Murphy contemplated for a few seconds if he’d be apposed to kissing. He decided against it, and he not so gracefully fell to his knees, never breaking eye contact with Bellamy. He saw Bellamy’s chest rising and falling quicker than it had been before.

He quickly worked open the button and zipper on the older man’s pants, and pulled down both his boxers and his pants in one swift motion. Murphy quirked an eyebrow up as he noticed Bellamy was already half hard.

He refrained himself from making any snarky comments about him already getting hard, because well, he didn’t want him to leave. This seemed like the best wet dream he’s ever had, and he was pretty sure it was real, so this was his one opportunity. 

Murphy wrapped his hand around Bellamy’s growing length. He began pumping his fist a little lazily until he was fully hard. He leaned forward and ran his tongue over the tip of the older man’s cock, tasting, testing, teasing.

Bellamy hissed above him, and his eyes fluttered closed for a second, but then he remembered that Murphy was doing this, not just some girl, so he opened his eyes again and watched in awe. Murphy licked a stripe up his length before finally taking it into his mouth. Bellamy instinctively grabbed a fistful of the younger boy’s hair and moaned. It was a beautiful sight, watching that smirk get wiped of his face because he was too busy wrapping his mouth around Bellamy.

Murphy looked up at him through long lashes, eyes dark. Bellamy moaned, and tugged on his hair a little too roughly as a signal for him to start moving. Murphy moaned at the sensation and began bobbing his head, taking him down further with every nod.

The older man grunted at the vibrations and ministrations preformed by the younger of the two. He was very surprised and delighted to know that Murphy actually  could  take his whole length and fuck, it felt so good. 

Bellamy couldn’t tell what the best part was. Murphy on his knees, with Bellamy’s cock in his mouth, all the way down. The way he hollowed out his cheeks. Maybe it was Murphy’s own moaning, like he was getting off to Bellamy getting off and—

“Murph,” He tugged at his hair, trying not to cum down the boy’s throat and choke him.

Murphy seemed to get the signal, and pulled up halfway, using his hand to cover the rest of his dick, and moving furiously. Bellamy’s head hit the wall behind him as he came.

Murphy swallowed every last bit of the older man, and sucked him off through his orgasm. Once his dick started to soften, he pulled off with a pop, and stood up.

“So?” His voice was raspy from having Bellamy’s dick halfway down his fucking throat, fuck that guy is hung. Murphy searched his eyes.

Bellamy’s dick twitched at how wrecked Murphy’s voice was. Fuck.

“Blake, hello?”

“Um,” Bellamy blinked. “I-yes.” Is all he said.

Murphy laughed in response. “Alright,” He pulled away from Bellamy, who just stood there dumbfounded, and sat back on his bed. “Was that all, or...?” He trailed off. He had better things to do than have to listen to Bellamy try and figure out how a guy made him orgasm probably faster than any girl has. Like getting himself off.

Bellamy shook his head and pulled up his pants. “Do you,” His voice was breathy. “What about...” He gestured to Murphy’s crotch.

Murphy rolled his eyes. “You really think you’re ready to touch a dick? Someone else’s dick?”

Bellamy wasn’t sure how to answer that. He looked at Murphy for a bit, who was starting to look pissed off, and for the first time since he walked in, he noticed the bruise on Murphy’s cheekbone was getting darker, bigger. “Your face,”

Murphy looked offended, and opened his mouth to probably yell at Bellamy, when he continued. “The bruise.” He corrected. “Your face is bruised.” Why were words so hard for him right now?

“The perks of getting punched in the face.” Murphy gave him a tight smile.

“He punched you?”

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows. “Who’s ‘ _ he _ ’, Blake?”

Fuck. Bellamy should just keep his mouth shut. Maybe he should’ve left and not started a conversation. “Sorry. I-what were you doing when I walked in?” He changed the subject, not so smoothly.

Murphy’s face paled a little, and the anger faltered. He looked more so, embarrassed now? “I was drawing.”

“Oh, can I see?”

The younger of the two seemed taken aback by that, and a little apprehensive. “Um, yeah.” He pulled out the pencil that was marking Bellamy’s page, and handed him the notebook.

Bellamy sat on the edge of Murphy’s bed, his back to him, and flipped through the pages. “Wow,” He breathed out. “These are good.” Then he got to Miller’s picture. “Really good, Murphy.”

Murphy shifted in his bed, uncomfortable with the compliments.

Bellamy eventually got to his picture, and he just sort of stared at it for a bit before speaking. “This is how you see me?”

Murphy blinked. “What?”

The curly haired man turned the picture to face Murphy. As if that was any indication to what the hell he meant.

“Blake, what are you talking about? It’s just a portrait.” He sighed.

Bellamy looked at the picture again, not looking up as he spoke. “You made me beautiful.”

“I drew you how you look.” He scoffed.

“Can I keep it?” He asked softly.

Murphy was again taken aback. Firstly, no one’s ever stuck around after a quick fuck, or any fuck for that matter. Secondly, no one’s ever really looked at his drawings. Thirdly, he was being complimented, which Murphy would never get used to, because he’s pretty sure Bellamy was the first person to do it.

“Uh, yeah.” He said back, matching Bellamy’s soft tone. He took the notebook out of Bellamy’s hands, and ripped out the page for him. “Here.”

Bellamy gave him a smile as he took the picture. “Thanks, Murphy.”

Murphy squirmed again. “Okay, Blake. You can go now.”

“Yeah,” He went to walk out, but stopped himself, realizing he was now more confused than he was before. “But-“

“I can’t help you with that.” Murphy cut him off. “The only person who can decide your sexuality is you, Bellamy.” His words were a little harsh, signaling to Bellamy that he should definitely leave.

“Alright. Thanks, for this,” He gestured to the picture. “And for-“

“The best blowjob of your life? You’re welcome.” He smirked.

Bellamy felt his face flush as he walked out of Murphy’s room. That smirk. And fuck. What the hell was that? He came harder and quicker down Murphy’s throat than he’s ever with a girl before. He shook his head and walked down the stairs, made sure to lock the front door behind him, and went home.

Bellamy didn’t remember the drive home, which was probably a sign he shouldn’t have driven home. But he came home to find Octavia on the couch, those pretty braids in her hair.

“Where’ve you been, Bell?”

“Oh,” Bellamy searched his brain for an excuse. “I had to help a classmate with their project.” He cleared his throat, and looked at the time. 6:00. Wow. The day really slipped from him. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Nothing. Going to Murphy’s.” She was looking down at her phone, so she didn’t see Bellamy’s face flush.

“Why?” He asked before he had time to process his own thoughts.

She looked up at her brother weirdly. “What do you mean ‘why’? He’s my friend. Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean I have to hate him too.”

“I don’t hate him.” His thoughts were just leaving his mouth without his permission.

“You kinda act like it.” She shrugged. “Anyways, Lincoln had to cancel our dinner plans, you kinda suck at cooking, I don’t want takeout, and Murphy’s a pretty damn good cook. I texted him asking if he’d make me dinner. Obviously he said yes.”

“He cooks?” Bellamy was stunned.

“Yeah, oh god. I’ll bring home some leftovers. He’s great.” She kissed Bellamy on the cheek, and walked out the door.

Bellamy’s heart was racing. Was Murphy going to tell Octavia what happened? Bellamy bit his lip. He didn’t have Murphy’s number, so he couldn’t text him. And fuck. What if he tells Octavia that he sucked him off? He ran his hands over his face and sighed.

Also, so Murphy cooks? And draws? Bellamy didn’t know what the feeling in his stomach was at those thoughts, so he just took some anti nausea medicine and ordered some pizza.

_Should’ve just gone to Clarke._


	4. Girl’s Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw ?? maybe for when finn comes over. it’s not violent or anything, just very unhealthy. it’s at the end of the chapter so u can still read it nd just skip over that part

Murphy has just finished getting himself off when he heard banging at the front door. He cleaned himself up, and opened it to see Octavia.

“You locked the front door? I’m impressed.” She smiled and hugged him tightly. “Sorry Bell was such an ass last night and made us leave early.”

Murphy gave her a one armed hug, not like he could move the other one anyway, and just chuckled a little under his breath. “I didn’t,” He said softly.  _ Did Bellamy lock the door behind him? _

“Well it was locked.” She pulled away from Murphy.

Murphy shrugged. “I guess I did. Just forgot.”

He walked to the kitchen, Octavia close behind him. He turned on the stove, and filled a big pot with water and placed it on there.

“Spaghetti?” Octavia asked as she sat on the kitchen counter.

“Easiest to make on such short notice.” He said with no real annoyance in his voice.

Octavia frowned as she ran a finger over Murphy’s bruise, but didn’t say anything. Neither of them said anything. He knew she knew that Finn did it, but they stayed silent for a while. He was grateful for that. Minding her business like Bellamy should have.

She eventually began to run her hand through Murphy’s hair. “Your hair got so long.”

“Yeah, it’s in my fucking eyes all the time.”

“Let me braid it. I can do a french braid if you want?” She hopped off the counter and stood behind her friend, fingernails scratching his scalp lightly, giving him shivers.

“I don’t know what that means, but if it’ll get the hair out of my eyes, sure. Do a french braid.” He said.

So Octavia braided Murphy’s hair as he cooked. She did a bunch of small french braids to make sure all of his hair was out of his eyes. He found it much more comforting than he thought he would’ve. It felt nice to have someone gently play with his hair. Sure he loved having it pulled, but that was stimulating. This, this was relaxing.

Once they were both done, they sat on the living room floor and ate their food.

“God, your sauce is so good. I’d marry you if I didn’t love Lincoln.” Octavia said, putting her plate down.

Murphy’s phone went off.

>Finn> Busy?

Murphy bit his lip, and locked his phone.

“Who was it?” Octavia questioned.

“Finn,” He sighed.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Well he can fuck off. We’re having a girl’s night.”

“I feel like more than one girl needs to be involved for this to be a ‘girl’s night’.” Murphy stated.

Octavia smirked. “Okay. I’ll invite Raven over.”

“No, I really don’t think she’d want to.” Murphy said, but Octavia already pulled out her phone and typed the message.

“I dunno, she liked you last night. It’s a shame, you could totally be a ladies man if you weren’t gay.” She said as she pressed send.

“I think she just liked me drunk.”

“So then let’s get drunk while we wait.”

Murphy smirked, never opposed to the idea, and the two of them got tipsy as they waited for Raven to show up. Murphy opened the front door for her as Octavia did the dishes.

“Oh my god, that bruise.” Raven gawked as she walked in the house. “Hey, Octavia.” She walked over to her and they hugged. “This is weird.” She looked around a little.

“Me doing the dishes? You really think Murphy would do the dishes?” She replied.

“No, being here to hang out with-“

“With Murphy?” He stepped into the kitchen where they both were.

“Yeah,”

“Why’d you say yes?” He was genuinely curious.

“Honestly? I don’t know. You were fun last night, I have nothing to do tonight, Octavia’s here...” She stared at Murphy for a second. “Did Octavia braid your hair?”

“I did,” She smiled and walked past them to the living room and sat on the couch.

“You let her?” Raven was stunned.

“It was in my eyes.” He shrugged, and followed Octavia.

Murphy offered Raven a drink, but she refused since she was driving. She offered to drive Octavia home, which she gladly accepted since she walked, and she didn’t quite feel like walking home. They had a few conversations, mostly Raven and Octavia talking, so Murphy pulled out his phone again. He clicked on Finn and his’ messages.

“Hey, hey, no.” Octavia reached over and pulled Murphy’s phone out of his hands. “You were about to text Finn! We’re having a girl’s night, Murphy.” She was more so concerned about how Murphy was being treated by Finn, but he would get defensive about that, and then probably cut her out. She knew how to handle Murphy. It was a delicate balance of caring about him, but making him think you only cared about yourself.

“Give me my phone back, O.” He held out his hand. “I won’t text him.”

She pursed her lips and paused. “You get your phone back if you commit to girl’s night.”

“And how do I do that?”

A quick drugstore run later, and they had snacks and nail polish. Murphy insisted on black, and they came to an agreement. If he wanted black nails, they would have to be covered in a holographic top coat. Murphy could deal with a little glitter.

Raven painted his nails while Octavia painted her own.

“Can I just say, Murphy, you have the worst taste in men.” Raven said as she finished the last nail. “Don’t touch anything until they’re dry.”

“I think my taste in men is-“

“Mediocre.” Octavia said after she was done blowing on her nails. “You need a boyfriend.”

Murphy laughed. “A boyfriend? Fuck no. I just want to get laid. I don’t need a commitment. I’m free to fuck whoever, whenever.”  _ Including your brother. _

“Then why do you even bother with Finn?”

“Or people’s dads.” Raven added.

Murphy laughed again, and sighed. He rested his head against the back of the couch, and just stared at the ceiling. He’d bother with Bellamy again. Fuck, even if he’s just using him, he doesn’t care. He’d  _ love  _ to be used by Bellamy. Maybe he did have a problem with choosing bad men...

“They’re not all bad.” He said, still looking at the ceiling.

“Name one person who wasn’t bad.” Octavia challenged. 

_ Bellamy. He even fucking asked about my art. He complimented it. He kept it. Bellamy, for whatever reason, came to  me  today. He came to  _ me _. I was his first choice. _

“I don’t remember his name.” He cleared his throat, and lifted his head off the couch, looking at his nails. He moved a little too quickly, and being a little spinny from the alcohol, it looked like his hands were spinning stars. It was quite beautiful, but also disorienting.

“He can’t be that good if you don’t remember his name.”

“Like them?” Raven interrupted when she noticed Murphy looking at his nails.

Finally his vision went into focus. “Yeah. I don’t mind the sparkles.”

“It’s holographic.”

“I still don’t know what that means.” He looked at Raven.

“It means the little sparkles can reflect all colors of the rainbow. Move your fingers around.”

So Murphy did just that. “That’s cool.” He admitted.

Octavia sighed as her phone went off for the fourth time.

“Maybe you should just answer it?” Raven asked.

“It’s just Bellamy. He was acting super weird today. He’s just being neurotic.”

Murphy let out a huff of a laugh. The rest of the night went smoothly, Bellamy was brought up a few times, and was constantly in the back of his head. The girls left around 11:30.

Murphy sat there in the living room for a bit before pulling out his phone.

>Murphy> sorry just got this. i’m not doing anything if you’re still free?

Murphy scrolled through his phone, fucked around for a bit, and when he was sure Finn wasn’t going to answer, his phone went off.

>Finn> I’ll be over in about 30

Murphy sighed. He contemplated drinking to pass the time, but last time that happened, Finn got pissy. So that was out of the question. He had no weed on him, fuck he’s gotta hit up Jasper and Monty soon.

Murphy went up to his room and pulled out his notebook. Since there was now a missing Bellamy picture, he may as well draw a new one. His mind and his hand had two different ideas. What he was  planning  on drawing was Bellamy’s tanned skin, those freckles, sparkling brown eyes, curly locks, but instead, his hand focused on the lower parts of the man.

Murphy drew, and he got lost in his own world until he heard the front door being opened. He quickly shut the notebook, and walked downstairs to greet Finn, finally.

“What happened to your hair?” Finn asked as he walked in the house, and Murphy stepped off the staircase, coming into full view.

“Octavia braided it.”

“Looks dumb.” Finn walked upstairs to Murphy’s room. 

Murphy rolled his eyes and followed behind him. “It was in my eyes.”

As soon as Murphy’s door was closed, Finn’s lips were on his. Murphy kissed back just as hard as Finn did.

Finn turned him around and fucked him against his door, rough and hard, lacking all passion. Like everything they did.

Murphy noticed absentmindedly while getting his ass pounded that he moaned more when sucking Bellamy off than he was with Finn literally in his ass. 

Murphy didn’t want to think too much about why that happened. Maybe he was just feeling off. But, on the other hand, he never really is that vocal with Finn...but that’s something Murphy shouldn’t notice or be concerned about. He never noticed before. Why was he noticing now? And why the hell was he still thinking about Bellamy?

Murphy’s face was pressed against his door, bruise side down. With every thrust, his face rammed against the door harder making his bruise hurt worse. He focused on the pain, and whimpered. It hurt, but it felt good. The pain felt good.

With one particularly hard thrust, and his face chafing against the door, he came, Finn following suit behind him. Murphy turned around, still locked between his door and Finn, and he slumped against it.

They both got dressed, Murphy still pressed against the door. Finn eyed the bruise on his cheek and seemed to almost crack a smile at that. Jesus christ is his bruise really that bad? He lightly pushed Finn off of him and went to his mirror.

For the first time all day, he finally got a good look at himself. His hair looked great but the bruise was fucking nasty. The edges were a nice emerald green, and the middle was dark blue, almost black. You could literally see where one of Finn’s knuckles hit in a particularly dark spot. Murphy clenched his jaw.

“Don’t be bitter. You look tougher.” Finn said in an attempt to be nice, Murphy was assuming.

“Fuck off,” He snapped back, not bothering to look away from the mirror.

“Why are you so moody all the damn time?”

Murphy whipped around at that. “ _ Moody _ ? Why am I so  _ moody _ ?” His eyes narrowed at Finn. “You fucking punched me in the face. Goddammit. At least hit me where people can’t see.” His voice softened to almost a whisper at his last sentence.  _ It’s fucking embarrassing. _

Finn’s face relaxed, and he walked over to Murphy, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, babe,” He kissed the bruise softly, but it still made Murphy wince. It was swollen now from being pounded against the door.

“It’s fine. Just don’t do it again. Especially when people are here.” He couldn’t even make eye contact with him. He was fucking embarrassed. He wasn’t even fully sure why, he just felt vulnerable.  _ Because then they all know and I can’t lie about it. _

“C’mon,” Finn ran his rough thumb over his cheekbone, pressing down in the darkest spot. Murphy flinched, but didn’t move otherwise. “You like pain. You know you do.” He leaned in and bit his earlobe.

Murphy’s eyes fluttered closed, his soft exhale, a juxtaposition to Finn’s sharp teeth on his ear, and the sharp throbbing in his face.

“You’re a whore for it.” He growled in his ear.

Murphy felt his cheeks redden. Being called a whore during sex was much different than being called a whore  _ after  _ sex.

“Yeah,” He still sighed out.

“Good,” Finn pulled away, and put on his jacket. “I’ll text you.” And with a wink, he was gone.

Murphy slumped down to his floor. He was tired. He curled in on himself, and fell asleep rather quickly on his floor.

A buzzing noise brought Murphy out of his deep slumber, and he groaned at the light shining into his room. Did he seriously just sleep on the floor? While sober?

Murphy stood up and cracked his bones. “Fuck,” He said after a big yawn. Rubbing his eyes, he picked up his phone which had three unread messages from an unknown number.

>Unknown> Hey, Murphy. It’s Bellamy.

Before reading the rest of the texts, Murphy saved the number in his phone as ‘Blake’.

>Blake> Got your number from O, sorry. 

>Blake> Well stole it, really. Listen, can we talk? Like in person.

Murphy’s heart rate increased.

<Murphy< the millers shouldn’t be back for a while if you wanna stop over again

Murphy didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until his phone buzzed again.

>Blake> Coming now.

Murphy couldn’t help the half smile that snuck its way onto his face. Although, he felt a little anxious. Was he going to tell Murphy off? Maybe he thinks Murphy seduced him on purpose and he’s pissed. Or maybe that’s just the type of guy he’s used to.

He quickly cleaned up his room from the night before— _gross_ — and then he cleaned himself up, changed his clothes, and brushed his teeth. He noticed the bruise was spreading a little. The fucking door.

He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed kind of pathetically. Bellamy was never going to be into him. He’s crazy for even entertaining the idea, even if it was only in the back of his mind. He poked the bruise, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the doorbell ring.

Murphy swallowed hard.  _Bellamy’s here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you would like to see!  
> also i don’t know how long it takes to make spaghetti so pls don’t judge me if the timing is off i don’t cook i’m sorry lol  
> i hope u enjoyed !!


	5. The Way He Kisses

Bellamy rang the doorbell, and anxiously looked around. Why did he come back? Fuck. He just can’t get Murphy out of his mind. He ran his hands over his jeans, they were sweaty. Why were his hands sweaty? Maybe he was making a mistake.

Bellamy turned around to leave as the front door opened.

“You already leaving?” Murphy asked, eyebrow quirked.

Bellamy turned around quickly. “I was-I was just, um,”

“Wow, you used to be so much more articulate in high school. College dumb you down?”

Now that’s the Murphy Bellamy knows. He’s not charming. He’s a sarcastic little asshole. Why was he here?

“Why are you here, Blake?” With a voice like melted butter, and that trademark smirk that made Bellamy’s heart skip a beat. Oh yeah.  _That’s_ why he was here.

He blinked back. “I-can I come in?”

Murphy stepped out of the way, and gestured for him to step inside. How is Murphy managing to get the upper hand these past few days? Bellamy was in shock. He was just very fucking confused. But he needed the upper hand back.

And looking at said man, he was very fucking concerned. The bruise on his face had only gotten worse. It was now slightly swollen and darker, no green left, just a black and blue bruise the size of Finn’s fist. Bellamy felt his stomach turn.

“Have you been icing that?” He cleared his throat out and forced himself to look Murphy in the eyes, rather than the bruise, which he honestly found difficult.

Murphy crossed his arms. He looked like an annoyed child. “No.”

“Shit, Murphy, you have to ice that, or it’s never going to get better.”

“No ice packs.” He shrugged. “Anyway what-“

“Get a plastic bag,” Bellamy said as he walked into the kitchen.

Murphy let out a huff of air. “Um, what the hell are you doing?” He followed him into the kitchen.

“Ziploc?”

“In the top cabinet.” He said flatly, not uncrossing his arms.

Bellamy got a bag and put a few ice cubes in it. He took Murphy’s face into his left hand, and softly put the ice to the boy’s left side.

Murphy’s arms dropped for a second, seemingly melting into Bellamy’s left hand, but he quickly backed away. “I can hold ice to my own face.” He held out his hand.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Bellamy handed him the makeshift ice pack. “Wait, don’t you have school today? It’s Monday.”

“Off day,” He shrugged. It actually just occurred to him in that moment that he had school. Oh well, he could always be a little late. It was still early.

Bellamy watched as the bruise disappeared under the ice, and he finally took a moment to take in the rest of Murphy’s appearance. He looked tired as all hell, but nothing really out of the ordinary. He had his nails painted, and they looked nice. And then he got to his hair. Bellamy smiled.

“Your hair,”

“Looks dumb, I know.” He rolled his eyes and walked to the living room.

“No, actually. It looks nice like that.” He said genuinely.

Murphy’s heart stopped beating for a second, and he was lucky his back was turned to Bellamy because he actually cringed at the compliment. Why did he keep doing that? No one ever complimented him.

“Octavia did it,” He sat on the couch.

“Yeah, I figured, but it’s not about the braids and how good they look. It’s just that you can pull them off. You look good, Murphy.” His voice was soft.

Murphy swallowed around the lump that was forming in his throat. “Is that what you came here to do this time? Compliment my hair?” He raised an eyebrow up at Bellamy who sat on the couch next to him, facing him.

“I just,” Bellamy’s face looked like he was trying to hold something back. Like he wanted to tell Murphy something, but he couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t know how. “I can’t get you out of my head.”

Murphy let out a small laugh. “God, it’s been, what, a day? I’m sure all thoughts of me will-“ And he was cut off by Bellamy’s lips on his, firm but tender.

Murphy opened his mouth when Bellamy’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip. He didn’t fight for dominance like he did with Finn; he just let Bellamy take control. And fuck, it felt good. He dropped his ice pack and then tangled his hands in the older man’s curly hair. Bellamy, without breaking the kiss, pulled Murphy onto his lap.

The kiss got rougher, and Bellamy leaned Murphy back, so he was on top now. This kiss was different, Murphy took note, than his kisses with Finn. This...there was passion. Murphy moaned softly into Bellamy’s mouth. Bellamy’s tongue danced with Murphy’s. The older of the two would sometimes nip at Murphy’s bottom lip, but he would always soothe it with his smooth tongue. Murphy was letting out little moans every time. Bellamy pulled away for a second to remove his own shirt, and to catch his breath.

He took Murphy in hungrily with his eyes. His lips were pink, wet, and swollen. His eyes were wide, and there was a dark blush going up his neck, into his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He wasn’t flushed, he was blushing. Hard. “You’re blushing.” Bellamy gave him a small smile.

“No one’s ever kissed me like that.” He said in a petite voice.

Bellamy’s never seen Murphy like that. So...human? Open? Bellamy didn’t know what it was but it simultaneously warmed up his heart, and made his dick hard. He was able to get Murphy like  that  from a kiss.

He leaned forward, capturing him in a kiss again. Murphy kissed back harder, and tightened his hands in Bellamy’s hair. Bellamy went to slide his hand up Murphy’s shirt, but he stopped him.

“No,” He breathed out. “Just...leave it on, okay?” Murphy looked up at Bellamy with big eyes.

Bellamy wanted to ask why, but when Murphy leaned up and connected their lips again, he forgot all his words. The two boys were grinding on each other, frantically trying to get friction, but there were too many layers.

Murphy removed his hands from Bellamy’s hair, and started to undo his pants. The curly haired man got the hint, and pulled them off, and then Murphy’s right after, leaving them in their boxers, and Murphy still with his shirt. Bellamy kissed Murphy harder as he ground his hips down into the boy, now just two layers of thin boxers in the way. Bellamy grunted, and Murphy let out a desperate moan. 

_ Okay, Bellamy. You’ve done your research. You know what you’re doing. Probably. Lube. I need lube. Why didn’t I bring lube? Spit probably works. _

Bellamy pulled away from the kiss, but not from Murphy’s hold. Murphy looked confused, but Bellamy pressed his fingers into Murphy’s mouth, and he got it, sucking on them like it was his dick.

“Fuck,” Muttered Bellamy, as he thrust his fingers in and out of his mouth, getting them nice and wet. Bellamy kissed Murphy’s neck and took off his boxers with his free hand, and then held his hips down effectively with one hand.

Murphy moaned as he tried to thrust his hips forward to no avail. He couldn’t get out of Bellamy’s grip if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to anyway.

Bellamy pulled his fingers out of Murphy’s mouth and circled them around his entrance. “This okay?” He asked.

“The sooner you can fuck me the better.” Murphy snarked.

Bellamy kissed him as he entered his pointer finger slowly. Murphy shifting slightly under him, but he made a noise of approval, so he thrust it in and out a few times before inserting another finger, eventually scissoring them a little. Murphy moaned into the kiss, and pulled at Bellamy’s hair, one hand gripping his shoulder hard.

_ How the hell is he so good at this? I thought he was new to this. He seems really- _

“Fuck, more,” Murphy panted into the kiss when Bellamy brushed lightly over his prostate.

Bellamy inserted a third finger, but stopped moving when Murphy hissed.

“I’m not made of glass, you can keep going, fuck, please,” He kissed Bellamy again, and tried to move his hips downward, but Bellamy’s hand was still there. Firm. Probably creating little bruises where his fingers were, but he didn’t care. He loved being marked up. Just not on his face.

Bellamy curled his fingers, looking for that spot that everyone always talks about, and when Murphy cried out, he knew he found it. He thrusted his fingers slowly at first, but sped up hearing Murphy’s desperate whimpers.

“Just fuck me, Blake.” Murphy said after a particularly hard thrust of his fingers rammed into his prostate. Well he more so panted it out.

“Are you sure you’re ready? I don’t wanna-“

“Finn rarely preps me, I’ll be fine.”

Bellamy didn’t know why, but that made him angry. He could tell by just having his fingers in his ass that the boy was tight. How could Finn not stretch him beforehand?

“Blake,” He tried again.

Bellamy removed just boxers, and reached into the pocket of his jeans for a condom. Murphy gave him a look like ‘you brought condoms but not lube?’. The older of the two gave him a sheepish smile, and spit on his hand after putting the condom on, slicking himself up as best he could.

Then Bellamy pressed the head of his cock at Murphy’s entrance. He was going to ask if Murphy was absolutely sure, when the younger of the two wrapped his legs around his waist and pressed into Bellamy’s lower back with his the heels of his feet.

He looked absolutely desperate for his cock. Bellamy slowly thrust himself into Murphy, whose eyes fluttered closed, and face flushed, until he was fully in. He did his best to keep his hips still, to give him time to adjust, but fuck he was so fucking  tight.  Bellamy moaned, and dropped his forehead to Murphy’s.

After a few seconds, Murphy spoke. “You can move,” He sounded breathless.

Bellamy slowly pulled out halfway, and pushed back in. Murphy whined, and dug his heel into the small of Bellamy’s back deeper.

“Harder, Blake.” He said after a few more soft thrusts. “I’m not gonna break, just- _fuck_ , ” Murphy was cut off by Bellamy pulling out almost completely and snapping his hips forward again.

Murphy’s mouth was parted, cheeks flushed, eyes closed, and the noises he was making. Fuck. He definitely gave pornstar Murphy a run for his money. Bellamy moved faster, and harder, searching for that sweet bundle of nerves inside him. He knew he found it when Murphy cried out again, his cheeks got even redder somehow, and he bit his lip.

“No,” Bellamy kissed down his jaw. “I wanna hear you.”

Each thrust hit his prostate dead on, and Murphy was seeing stars. He moaned loudly, and Bellamy bit down on his neck. Murphy tightened his hand in Bellamy’s hair, and then spoke.

“Harder,” His voice was strained, and Bellamy somehow knew he meant bite him harder. Murphy let out a choked moan when Bellamy broke skin.

Bellamy wrapped his hand around Murphy’s cock, and stroked him in beat with his thrusts. Bellamy flicked his tongue over the bite mark, and then sucked. Murphy hissed, and moaned out Bellamy’s name as he came. Bellamy’s own orgasm triggered by Murphy’s, he came inside him, moaning against his neck. They both rode out their orgasms together.

When Bellamy pulled out, Murphy whimpered at the loss. Bellamy had his head in the crook of Murphy’s neck as he laid on top of him. They took their time catching their breaths.

Eventually, the two pulled apart to get dressed and dispose of the condom. Murphy went upstairs to change his shirt which had his own cum all over it, and he came back downstairs.

“Hey,” Bellamy said when Murphy sat back down next to him.

“So you came here to fuck me?” Murphy asked, still a little breathless.

Bellamy’s eyebrows raised and he blushed. He opened his mouth, but Murphy interrupted him

“Not that I mind,” He added.

“Well no. I came to talk, but then...I don’t know. I’m,” Bellamy rubbed his eyes. “I’m confused.”

“Probably because you were so focused on your straight life that you never realized, hey, men are hot too.”

“Would you be confused if you liked a girl? Just, out of the blue. One girl made you feel things that no other girl has made you feel before.”

Murphy gave him a thoughtful look. “Yeah, probably.” He admitted, then sighed. “Sexuality is a spectrum. You can be bi, but like girls 90% and guys 10%, less, more, doesn’t matter. It’s still your sexuality and it’s valid. Even if you don’t label it. And fuck it, Blake. Why label it? Who do you owe a label to?”

That made Bellamy want to kiss him, but not in a lustful way. In a romantic way, and that scared him. That would probably scare Murphy too, judging by how he reacted to their kiss before. So he just smiled.

Murphy looked away. “Is that all? I have school.”

“What? I thought you said you had off?”

“I wanted to know why you came here.” He shrugged. “Seems we have it all sorted?”

“I mean,” Bellamy started.

Murphy stood up. “Great.” He put on his leather jacket and looked at Bellamy expectedly.

Bellamy got the message and stood up, making his way towards the door. “Do you want a ride to school? You’re already late.”

Murphy pursed his lips in thought for a second. “Sure,”

The car ride was uneventful, a little awkward. Murphy thanked Bellamy, and left without giving him any time to respond.

Once he stepped into the school, he was immediately hit with the busy noises of the hallway. Must be in between classes.

“Dude, where’ve you been?” Raven walked up to him, a backpack slung over one shoulder. “Whoa that bruise,”

“Yes, we went over this yesterday.” Murphy sighed.

“Not that one, dummy. The one on your neck. Were you hooking up with someone? Is that why you’re late?” 

“No. Finn came over after you guys left last night.”

He shrugged when she sighed. If she was gonna be friends with him, she was gonna have to get used to disappointments. He turned to his locker, which was a mess of loose papers and books.

“Speak of the devil,” Raven said under her breath.

Murphy was about to ask what she meant, when he smelled Finn’s cologne. He turned around and gave him a half smile. He fully expected Raven to walk away, but she stayed, eyeing them.

Murphy’s heart turned to ice when he noticed Finn’s lingering gaze on the hickey that he definitely didn’t make on his neck. He felt himself stiffen. Finn plastered on a fake smile, and leaned in, whispering in Murphy’s ear.

“We’ll talk about this later.” His voice was firm and left no room for debate.

Murphy cleared his throat, and forced himself to smile as Finn pulled away, giving him a rough pat on the bruised side of his face, walking away.

Raven’s eyes watched Finn’s body retreat down the hall, then she locked eyes with Murphy. “Who gave you that hickey?”

Murphy stared back at her. Was he going to lie and say Finn again? Or was it too obvious that Finn didn’t do it?

“And don’t say Finn, because he seemed more shocked than me.”

Fuck.

“No one important,” He looked down at his nails, and began picking at the polish.

“Hey, don’t do that. I worked hard on those,” Murphy thought maybe Raven was going to drop the subject, but then she continued talking. “Who’s the mystery man? Don’t tell me it’s someone’s father again.”

“No,” He let out a small chuckle at that. “Not a father.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Octavia eventually walked past them, and Raven grabbed her out of the crowd. “Oh, hey.” She said as she stood in front of Murphy. “Whoa, that hickey!” She squinted her eyes and got closer, backing Murphy against the lockers. “The teeth marks...damn. He broke skin.” She went to touch it, but Murphy swatted her hand away.

“I think this is why he was late today.”

“Well this hickey is definitely new,” Octavia said, still in Murphy’s personal space. “Hmm,” Octavia sniffed him. “Bellamy has this cologne.”

_Shit_.

“And Finn didn’t do it, so I’m trying to figure out who it could be.”

Octavia finally pulled away, a wicked smile on her face, thankfully forgetting the cologne thing. “Oh, there’s another boy?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Hardly.” Murphy huffed out.  _ He’s just using you. He’ll fuck you one more time, get a girlfriend, and he’ll be back once they break up. Then the cycle continues. _

“Is it another guy like Finn?” Octavia asked.

“No, O. He’s better than Finn. I just know how shit like this ends.” He didn’t mind really. This would be remembered as the best week of his life, and then he’ll always have something nice to look back on. And he’ll have enough masturbation material to last him a lifetime. Being fucked by  _ Bellamy Blake _ ?! Yeah. He didn’t care that he was being used.

“Murph,” Octavia’s voice was soft. “Why don’t you trade out all these meaningless fucks for-“

“It’s not meaningless.” He interjected, harsh words cutting her soft ones like a knife. Sure he could say it was meaningless, Bellamy could say it was meaningless. But for someone who didn’t even know who he was fucking to say it was meaningless? No. 

“What the hell, Murphy? You can’t just flip flop sides. You said yourself he’s hardly anyone, that you know how this shit ends. Don’t snap at me like that.” Octavia demanded, crossing her arms.

Murphy narrowed his eyes, slammed his locker shut, and began to walk away from Raven and Octavia. As he was walking away, the bell rang, and everyone went to their classes. Save for two people. As Murphy angrily turned down a particularly quiet hallway, he saw Finn standing there. He froze, all anger dissipating from him.

Finn had no trouble walking though, as he made quick strides to Murphy, pinning him against the wall.

“Watch it,” Murphy muttered when Finn held his forearm against his throat. “We’re in school.” His voice was strained. 

“Who are you fucking around with?” He pressed his forearm down, restricting his breathing even more.

Murphy’s heart was pounding in his ears, so loud he couldn’t hear much else, his jaw was clenched, a hard expression on his face. But he could barely hear Finn, or take in enough air to fucking respond, so he tried to free himself. Struggling against Finn ended up him getting free for a millisecond, and in the fight for Finn to get back his position, he somehow split Murphy’s lip open. Finn held him more firmly in place, but gave him more room to breathe.

Murphy licked the cut on his lip and hissed, tasting metal and feeling a sharp sting.

“Answer the question.”

“I-“ Murphy sighed. “He’s not out, Finn. Don’t make me do that to him.” He could feel the blood trickle down his chin.

Finn laughed, and released his hold on Murphy, who bent over to catch his breath.

“Why are you laughing?” He said after a few moments. He felt his blood spreading on his lips like lip gloss. 

“Oh, come on,” He said, like it was obvious.

“What.” Murphy snapped.

Finn rolled his eyes. “He’s not into you.”

Murphy’s mouth dried when he heard the words. He knew that, he did, for some reason, though, when he heard it just hit different...no. He was fine.

“If he’s still ‘in the closet’ that just simply means he’s embarrassed by you. This isn’t gonna last, you know that, right?” Finn continued, he was now speaking with an artificial sense of caring.

“I know,” He said softly.

“So stop fucking him, kay? Because next time I won’t be so nice.” He smiled.

Murphy shook his head. He knows Finn gets laid by other people.  _ So Finn can do it, but I can’t?  _ “Since when was this a relationship?”

“It’s more of a relationship than you’ll ever come close to having.” Finn replied. “Listen, I’m gonna go before you piss me off any further.” He pulled Murphy in by the head, and kissed his forehead roughly, chapped lips scratching his soft skin. “Take out these braids, yeah?” And with that, Finn strutted off to class.

Murphy felt a little wet spot on his shirt, he looked down to see a little spot of blood.  _ Fuck. Fuck me. _

Murphy wiped just mouth on his sleeve, albeit a little too roughly, and walked to class. This was the class he shared with Raven and Clarke. The only class he had with them, because they were both in the smart kids classes. Except Raven and Murphy shared tech together, too. But this class was history.

Murphy stepped in, and all eyes were immediately on him.

“You’re late, Mr. Murphy.” Their teacher spoke, without looking away from the blackboard.

Murphy sneered at the back of his head, and plopped down in the back of the classroom.

“Murphy, what happened?” Clarke whispered harshly.

He waved his hand, dismissing her.

“Your lip is bleeding. Did you get into another fight?”

“Yeah,” He said, relieved. That’s what he wants people to think. That he gets in a lot of fights, not that his boyfriend/not so boyfriend beats him up sometimes. 

Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, turning back to pay attention to the lesson. But Murphy noticed Raven’s gaze on him.

“Yes?” He turned to her.

She frowned. Unlike Clarke, Raven’s desk was right next to Murphy’s, so she could talk to him much more inconspicuously. “What happened?”

Fuck.  “Got in a fight,” He wiped the blood from his mouth again.

“If you keep wiping that roughly, it’s gonna keep opening.”

“Mr. Murphy, Ms. Reyes, is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Their teacher cut through their conversation.

“No, sorry, sir.” Raven said, sinking down in her seat a little.

Their teacher continued with their lecture, and Raven turned back to Murphy. “You can tell me what happened,”

Murphy heard her clear enough, but he didn’t want to entertain the idea that anything other than a fight happened. “Sorry, can’t hear you.” He began to scratch into his desk.

“Murphy,” Her whisper was a little more firm. Something about it made Murphy look at her. “You can tell me what happened.” She repeated herself.

“Jesus fucking-“

“Mr. Murphy. Ms. Reyes.” Their teacher repeated louder. His hands folded in front of him. “I’ll see you after school for detention.”

Murphy gritted his teeth and shot a glare at Raven. Great. He literally just got to school and he already got detention. He let out a small, weak laugh. Mr. Miller was gonna kill him. He hated this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you sm to everyone reading this! pls leave suggestions for what u’d like to see happen. i wanna make you guys happy!!   
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	6. Detention

“Murphy, you have to wash off your face.” Raven said, as Murphy took his seat in detention.

Murphy shrugged. “Just a little dry blood.”

Raven rolled her eyes, and pulled a wipe out of her bag. She began to lightly scrub off the dried blood on his chin. She avoided his lips.

“What, you just carry around wipes wherever you go?” Murphy questioned, trying to avoid whatever feeling was bubbling up in his stomach at the kind gesture she was doing.

“They’re makeup wipes.” She explained and then pulled away. “There. Now you look-“ She took a moment to take in his appearance. Big bruise right under his eye, split lip, nasty hickey, blood on his shirt, dried blood stuck to his lips like bad lipstick. She pursed her lips.

Murphy laughed a little. “Less shitty, but still like shit?” He tried.

“Less shitty, but still like shit.” She agreed.

>Miller> Dude where are you??

<Murphy< got detention, not a big deal. don’t tell your dad please

Murphy sighed and put his phone down.

“So,” Raven started.

“I got in a fight, Raven.” Murphy cut her off.

“Not that. Just thinking about that comment that Octavia made earlier,” She frowned in pretend thought and leaned back in her desk.

Murphy swallowed thickly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I dropped the subject before, because I figured it would be weird around his sister...”

“Raven. I don’t know what you think happened, but-“

She spun around to him. “What I think happened was you hooked up with Bellamy, and he’s the one who gave you that nasty hickey.” She smirked at him. When Murphy didn’t respond, she continued. “Oh my god, am I right?”

“No, no you are not right. Besides, it’s done with...the guy, so there’s not really a story anymore.” He shrugged.

“Why is it done? Also I totally knew Bellamy wasn’t straight.”

“It’s just done, okay? And it’s not Blake.”

“Alright,” The teacher stepped into the room. “Detention is starting now, no more talking.” He sat down at his desk, and pulled out a book to read.

>Miller> My dad’s gonna kill you dude

<Murphy< which is why you’re not telling him i’m in detention 

>Miller> You don’t think they called my dad and told him? Why’d you get in trouble

<Murphy< talking, but it kinda looks like i got in a fight

Murphy bit his lip and almost yelped at the pain.

>Miller> Why does it look like you got in a fight? Did you?

<Murphy< we’ll talk when i get back home, okay?

>Miller> My dad won’t be so pissed about getting detention for talking in class, especially if it’s that terrible history teacher you have. But he would be super pissed about a fight, so make yourself...presentable

Murphy rolled his eyes, and then stared at the clock for the remainder of detention. Finally the clock completed a full circle, and detention was over.

“Want a ride?” Raven asked Murphy as they got up.

“No, thanks, I’ll walk.”

“It’s raining, Murphy.”

Murphy looked out the window, and it was indeed pouring outside. He sighed and agreed to a ride home. He didn’t need to look beat up and wet.

All Murphy wanted was a quiet car ride, but of course he couldn’t get what he wanted. Raven began talking again.

“Bellamy Blake,” She said in awe as she stared at the road ahead of her.

“No, not Blake.” Murphy incorrectly corrected her.

“Then why do you smell like his cologne? And before you say it’s yours, don’t bullshit me. You don’t wear cologne.” Her tone left no room for debate.

“I-“ He was really searching the depths of his mind to come up with something, anything, but he couldn’t. What he decided to wear cologne on this one specific day that a mysterious hickey appears, not caused by Finn, and the cologne just so happened to be Bellamy’s?

Raven smirked, taking his silence as confirmation.

“Raven-“

“Relax, I’m not gonna tell anyone!” She held one hand up. “I swear, okay? Just,” She looked at Murphy for a second. “If we’re gonna be friends, you can’t lie to me again.”

Friends? That was a very special word for Murphy. He never had many friends, and when he did, they were never the greatest. Besides Miller. And Octavia, but she’s never around to hang out. He was friends with Bellamy for a little, or maybe it was one sided the whole time, and once he was outed, they cut ties. Or Bellamy cut ties, rather.

“Especially if it’s about hooking up with Bellamy!” She added. “Did I do that?”

“Friends...” Murphy said softly.

“Yeah, friends, Murphy. And friends keep friend’s secrets. You can talk to me.  _Please_.  Oh god I need to know everything. Who initiated it, how far you guys went-“

“Whoa, okay, that’s a lot.” He interrupted.

“What, you weren’t shy about this on Saturday.” Raven raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, and I was also drunk.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Fine. Then will you at least tell me why it’s over? Why something I created died so quickly?” She put her hand over her heart in feigned sorrow.

Murphy huffed out a laugh. “Finn,” He sighed, “He doesn’t want me seeing other people.”

“Oh, is Finn your boyfriend now?” She raised her eyebrow, still facing the road.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Murphy rolled his eyes.

“So then why are you tied down to him and what he says?”

Murphy sat there for a bit. Why was he listening to Finn? Maybe he was a little scared. Maybe. But he would never admit that.

“Look, I’m just saying, maybe see where things go with Bellamy. I mean, has he made any indication that he wants whatever’s happening to stop?” Raven broke the silence.

Murphy sighed. “I think he wants to talk. I don’t.”

Raven gave him a short laugh, and pulled up outside of the Miller’s. Murphy thanked her for the ride, and closed the door behind him before she had the chance to respond.

He stepped in the house to see Miller on the couch.

“Dude, he’s pissed.” He got up and walked to him. “Holy shit, what the fuck happened?”

Murphy sighed. “I-“

“Murphy.” He heard Mr. Miller walk down the stairs. He looked at him and Murphy could see the worry etched on his face. The worry and the anger. “Did you get in another fight?”

“Yes. But that’s not why I got detention.” He quickly said. “I got detention for talking. It was Mr.-“

“Murphy. You can’t keep getting into fights.”

Miller eyed him. He knew he didn’t get in a fight.

“I know, I’m-“

“One more and you’re out of the house.” Mr. Miller spoke firmly.

“Whoa, dad,” Miller cut in, but his father repeated himself, and hastily walked out of the house.

“Murph, you gotta tell him you’re not fighting anyone.” Miller touched Murphy on the arm, who immediately retracted from him like his fingers were made of fire.

“You don’t know shit, Miller.” Murphy’s voice was harsh.

“I know Finn hits you. In fact, you even  told  me he hit you. Saturday night ring a bell?”

“Well I’m not telling your dad Finn hits me, which he doesn’t. This was an accident.” He pointed to his lip.

“Why won’t you tell my dad? He’s gonna kick you out of the house otherwise.” Miller had panic in his eyes. “I’ll tell my dad if you don’t.”

“No, because then he won’t be able to come over anymore.”

“Are you joking?” Miller laughed incredulously. “That seriously matters?”

Murphy crossed his arms. “It’s not like I have many other friends, Miller. Half, no, way more than half of your friends hate me, just to add to the ever growing list of people who hate me.”

Miller sighed. “They’d like you if you-“

“Didn’t act like myself?” He cut in a discordant voice.

Miller’s face softened for a second, but he wasn’t backing down. If Murphy wanted to fight, then he’d fight. “You have to admit you can be an ass, Murph.”

Murphy stared at Miller with a hard expression for a bit, then he stormed up the stairs to his room and slammed the door, locking it just in case. Maybe Murphy was acting like a child, storming away from a discussion, but he couldn’t let himself get too heated, because getting in a fight is one thing, but fighting with Mr. Miller’s son? He’d probably be on his ass in the street with a lawsuit. Well, probably not, but definitely out of the house.

Maybe he was being a baby about it, because he stayed in his room until he had to leave for school the next day, effectively skipping dinner and breakfast. Murphy looked at himself in the mirror and decided to take a quick shower, he needed it. Getting the braids out were a pain in the ass, but he eventually got them all out, admiring the natural looking waves it gave him, before washing them, and all the grease out.

He got to his room, and quickly changed into his an all black outfit. Murphy walked down the stairs to find Miller resting on the back of the loveseat waiting for him.

“Come on, bro. You take forever to get ready. Bruise is looking better.” Miller pushed himself off the loveseat and began walking out the door.

Murphy quirked up half a smile. He knew Miller was bullshitting about the bruise, it’s only gotten less swollen, it still looked nasty.

The car ride was silent at first, but Miller eventually spoke up. “I’m sorry I called you a dick.”

“An ass,” Murphy corrected him absentmindedly. He was looking out the window, seeing houses and trees blur together. Maybe he should get into painting.

“Right,” Miller sighed. “Sorry I called you an ass, it’s just-“

“No, I get it.” Murphy sighed now. “I can be an ass, a dick, whatever the hell you wanna call it. I get it.” There was a slight edge to his voice in his last sentence.

Miller bit his lip.

“I mean, it’s not like they really gave me much of a chance.” Murphy added. “They’ve always hated me.”

“Octavia doesn’t, neither do Jasper and Monty.”

“They’re kinda,” Murphy cut himself off from saying something rude. Something he would usually say. That wouldn’t help his argument. “Well Jasper’s just...”

Miller let out a small laugh. “You find problems in anyone who’s nice to you.”

“Not really.” Murphy scrunched up his nose. He knew that was true, but it’s not like many people were nice to him. He just wasn’t used to it.

“Yeah? Name one person who’s nice to you that you don’t hate.”

Murphy laughed. “You, O,”  _Bellamy_.  “Your dad.”

“Okay, okay, I said one, ass.” He laughed.

Murphy’s smile was short lived, as he saw Finn in the parking lot as they pulled up to the school. Miller noticed his scowl once he parked, and followed his eyes to the reason. He refrained from sighing.

“Walk in with me.”

“Thanks,” Murphy said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have like...a ton planned for this (later chapters) so finn won’t be in the whole thing don’t worry !! also pls give me ideas or things u want to happen bc the rest of the chapters (besides some scenes i have planned for later chapters) are going to be freshly written, i haven’t started 7 at all yet  
> i have a busy work week next week so i’m not sure how much i’ll write but i’ll try my best! thank you for reading <3 kudos always appreciated x


	7. Blow Me, Blake

Murphy was sitting at his own lunch table. Away from Miller and his friends, and not outside smoking with Finn. He was twirling his phone in his hands when it went off.

>Blake> Hey, Murphy. Are you doing anything after school?

<Murphy< no, why

>Blake> Octavia isn’t going to be home, if you’d like to come over.

<Murphy< sure

Murphy let out a little laugh.  _Bellamy texts so weird._

“What are you smiling about?” Raven asked as she sat down across from Murphy.

Murphy blinked up at her. “What?” He took a second to process her question, and then deflected. “Why aren’t you sitting with your friends?”

She shrugged. “You were sitting alone. Kinda sad.” She gave him a mock-pout. “Was that Bellamy?” A smile spread its way onto her lips.

Murphy rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t texting anyone.”

“Let me check.”

“What? No.”

“Murphy, I said you don’t lie to me if we’re friends. Don’t lie to me.”

He sighed. It’s not like he  _cared_ about having friends, or about Raven, but he felt trapped by that response, so he let out a small “It was Bellamy.”

She smiled proudly at herself. “What’d he say?”

“It’s not what he said, it’s...have you texted him before?”

“Obviously.”

“He types-“

“Oh, like he’s writing an essay.” She laughed.

“Yeah,” Murphy let out a breath of a laugh. “It’s weird.”  _Kinda charming._

“So,” Raven tapped her finger on the table. “Why are you sitting by yourself?”

Murphy rolled his eyes. “Just don’t feel like sitting outside with Finn.”

“What about our table?”

“No offense, but most of you suck.”

“And sitting by yourself sucks less?”

Murphy gave her a look that said ‘yes’.

Raven sighed. “You need to give people a chance.”

“Yeah, like they ever gave me one.”

“So? Be the bigger person.”

Murphy gave her a tight smile. He wasn’t about being the ‘bigger person’. Why was it up to him to be the bigger person? Why couldn’t someone else be nice to him first for  _once_. Murphy could count on one hand the amount of people that were nice to him. A whole two people. Well, three if you include Bellamy, but why is a stupid compliment about a drawing sticking with him for so long? 

“I think I’m gonna go outside.” Murphy stood up.

“Walk away if he gets angry.” She said as she walked back to Miller’s table.

Murphy let out a huff of air, and walked outside. Finn was standing in the parking lot, leaning against his car, smoking. When he heard the door slam open, he turned around, holding out his cigarette for Murphy to take, which he did. He took a long drag before handing it back to Finn.

“Fuck anyone new lately?” Finn asked as he stared forward, cigarette between his lips.

“No. You?”

He shrugged.

Murphy knew what the shrug meant. “Might though.” He added.

“Yeah? Same guy? One who’s using you?”

“Yup.” He popped the ‘p’.

He saw Finn grimace as he took another long hit. “So you just like being a fuck toy then, right?”

Murphy raised his eyebrows, surprised being called a fuck toy outside of the bedroom. “What?”

“You’re mine, and this straight guy’s. You let bored dads fuck you. Come on, Murphy.” He looked at him. “In fact, I bet you sleep with Miller’s dad for your room, huh.” Finn let out a small laugh. “You’re a slut. You’ve always been a slut, and you fucking love it.”

“Fuck you, Collins.” Murphy started walking away from the parking lot, away from the school.

“Come on, being called a slut never bothered you before!” He heard Finn call after him in a laugh.

<Murphy< change of plans blake, im coming over now

>Blake> What?

>Blake> Okay. Do you know where I live? What about school?

Murphy sighed contently at his phone. It was almost like someone cared about him. Almost. He knew this was just Bellamy’s personality. How he’d treat anyone. So Murphy shouldn’t feel special. But would it be wrong if he kind of did feel special?

<Murphy< i’ve been there to hang out with octavia before

>Blake> Who’s driving you?

Murphy rolled his eyes, and continued walking. It took him some time, but the fresh air did his mind some good, and he eventually landed outside of the Blake residence. He almost hesitantly knocked on the door.

Bellamy opened the door and gave him a smile before bombarding him with questions. “You didn’t answer my texts. What happened to school? Did you walk here? I would’ve picked you up.”

“And have everyone see your car picking me up? Not very smart, Blake. And I only have two classes left, I’m not missing much.”

“Well why’d you leave?” He asked once Murphy was inside the house.

“Everyone was pissing me off, and I believe a better offer came up.” He raised an eyebrow.

“I said after school.” He clarified. 

Murphy rolled his eyes. “Why’d you invite me over? Want another blowjob?” He raised an eyebrow at the older man who blushed.

“No, I, er,” He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to give you a blowjob, actually.” He eventually blurted out.

Murphy almost choked on his spit. “What?”

Bellamy’s cheeks felt even hotter now somehow. “I wanna blow you, Murphy.”

When Murphy didn’t respond, Bellamy began speaking again. “Am I overstepping?”

“What?” Murphy shook his head. “No,” No it wasn’t overstepping, it was more shock. Bellamy fucking Blake wanted to blow him? Was he asleep?

“No, I’m not overstepping, or no, you don’t want a blowjob?”

“Just, are you sure you want to?” Murphy now felt his own cheeks heating up.

“Yes.” He spoke firmly.

Murphy let out a breathy laugh. “Okay, yeah. Blow me, Blake.” He smirked.

Bellamy closed the distance between them, and kissed Murphy with determination. Murphy let out a little noise that he hoped the older of the two didn’t notice. Something about the way he kisses Murphy just makes his head spin. Bellamy took full control of the kiss, grabbing Murphy by his hips, and grinding his own down into them.

Murphy moaned into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around Bellamy’s neck, right hand tangling into his curly hair.  _Fuck_ his hair was so soft. Murphy absentmindedly thought about what conditioner Bellamy used, only to be brought back to reality when spikes of pleasure ran up his spine as their cocks ground together. Murphy could feel Bellamy was just as hard as he was.

Bellamy pulled his lips away from Murphy’s, panting slightly. He rested his forehead against the younger man’s for a moment before completely breaking away from him and sinking down to his knees.

_Oh, yeah,_ Murphy thought,  _that’s what we were doing...fuck._ He bit his lip at the sight of Bellamy Blake on his knees to keep himself from moaning at just that. Fuck, why does Bellamy turn him on so much?

Murphy was snapped back to reality when he felt his half hard cock hit the air around him. He looked down at Bellamy, whose eyes were trained on Murphy’s cock.

“You don’t have to if you’re not-“ Murphy was cut off by a small gasp when Bellamy swiped his tongue over the head softly, testing. Murphy instinctively grabbed Bellamy’s curly mess of hair.

Bellamy smirked softly before ducking his head back down and taking the head of Murphy’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the head. Murphy hissed and tightened his hand in Bellamy’s hair, trying his hardest not to thrust into Bellamy’s mouth.

Murphy rarely got blowjobs. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he got one, so this wasn’t new per se, but it was exciting nonetheless. And, not to mention, Bellamy fucking Blake was on his knees blowing him. A moan escaped from his lips.

His eyes wanted to close, he wanted to throw his head back when Bellamy took him down halfway, but he had to keep his eyes on the freckled man below him. Murphy was letting out embarrassing moans as Bellamy took what he could down. He would occasionally scrape his teeth along his cock on accident, but it just sent shivers up his spine.

Bellamy was uncomfortably hard, and a little discouraged that he couldn’t deep throat Murphy, like Murphy had done for him. He just gagged, so he settled for bobbing his head on half, his hand on the other half that he frustratingly couldn’t take. But if Murphy’s moaning was any indication of how things were going, he’d say he was doing a pretty good job.

Bellamy thought back to Murphy’s blowjob, and he hollowed out his cheeks. He bobbed his head faster when Murphy’s moans got more frequent. Murphy eventually pulled on his hair once as a signal to stop.

“Stop,” His voice was breathy. “I’m gonna-“

Bellamy quickly pulled off Murphy, but only to say one sentence that almost had Murphy coming at the words. “I wanna taste you.”

Murphy cursed above Bellamy as he wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock, and jerked him off with his hand. He had Murphy coming with a loud moan. Bellamy swallowed every drop, just how Murphy did for him, and then he got up and looked into Murphy’s hazy eyes. He got up and kissed him roughly, making the younger man’s already weak knees even weaker. He grabbed onto Bellamy’s shoulder to steady himself, moaning at his own taste in Bellamy’s mouth.

Murphy reached one hand down and began to palm Bellamy through his jeans. Without breaking the kiss, Bellamy hurriedly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. The younger boy quickly dipped his hand inside and began to swiftly jerk off Bellamy.

They were both moving roughly, the kiss was rough and needy, and Murphy’s movements were quick and rushed, but still so skilled and, fuck Bellamy was about to cum in his pants like a teenager. Murphy had other plans though. Once he heard Bellamy whimper into his mouth, he pulled away.

Bellamy opened his eyes, confused, just in time to see Murphy sink to his knees. He quickly pulled down Bellamy’s pants, and took him into his mouth without hesitation. Murphy hallowed out his cheeks, and swallowed around Bellamy’s cock, making him cum within seconds with a loud groan.

Murphy pulled off and gave Bellamy a quick kiss, so he could taste himself on Murphy’s tongue. The older of the two let out a little noise from the back of his throat, and then Murphy pulled away. His lips were swollen and red, and he was fucking smirking. Bellamy wanted to kiss that smirk off his face.

“How’d I do?” Bellamy asked, still out of breath, head spinning from his orgasm and how fast everything just happened.

“Not too bad,” Murphy shrugged, fixing his own clothes.

Bellamy tucked himself away in his jeans and spoke again. “I couldn’t—I mean, how could you...” Bellamy was trying to find a way to say deep throat without saying the words ‘deep throat’.

“I don’t have a gag reflex, maybe with some practice you can do it.” Murphy was still smirking.

“I didn’t mind.” He said. Then, “I liked it, actually.” He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed and exposed all of a sudden.

“I hate to tell you your own sexuality,” Murphy ran a hand through his hair. “But you seem confused, so I’m just saying, I think you’re bisexual.”

“I think so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry it took so long. it was holiday season at work, and also it’s really hard for me to write smut?? but i’m trying! sorry if this was too short/disappointing !  
> thank you for reading <3 kudos always appreciated  
> also let me know what u would want to see because i have a few later chapters written out but not the next few so let me know what you want and i can see if i can work it in :) suggest anything! <3


	8. A Week Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like a week and a bit later. what happened in that week; a lot of murphamy sex and murphy sitting quietly at their lunch table
> 
> content warning; consensual choking

Murphy just finished rolling his blunt when Miller walked into his room.

“Hey! Knock, asshole.” Murphy muttered as he lit his blunt, inhaling, and then exhaling out the window.

“Dude, you know you can’t smoke in the house. My dad’s gonna kill you.” He closed the door behind him, and placed the towel that was at the base of Murphy’s door back to block the sent. “And if you don’t want me walking in, you have a lock on your door.”

“He won’t find out.” He held out the weed for Miller to take.

Miller contemplated for a moment, seemingly thinking ‘ah, fuck it’, he took two hits and handed it back, blowing the smoke out of the window. Miller isn’t opposed to smoking, but he is opposed to smoking in the house. Mr. Miller wasn’t okay with pot use.

“You’ve been hanging with Finn a lot lately.” Miller said as he began to clean off Murphy’s messy desk.

“No I haven’t. Haven’t talked to him in over a week.” Murphy said with the blunt casually balanced between his lips. “Asshole.” He muttered as an afterthought.

“Then where have you been for the past week?” Miller quirked an eyebrow up at Murphy and took the blunt out of his hand before taking a hit, and handing it back.

Murphy’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “I’ve been kinda fucking around with a new guy,” He had his eyes trained out the window.

“Oh? Who?” He sat down on Murphy’s now slightly straightened up desk.

Murphy waved a hand of dismissal as he continued to smoke. He didn’t want to outright lie to Miller. After all, if it weren’t for him and his family, he would’ve grown up far worse.

“Is it Atom’s dad again?” Miller sighed out.

Murphy laughed at that. “That was twice. And no, but he’s not out so-“

“So I _do_ know him.” Miller cut him off.

_Shit_. “I dunno, you know a lot of people.” Murphy thought a little. “And he goes to a different school.”

“What school?”

“Not sure.” That wasn’t a lie, technically, he truly didn’t know, or care, what the name of the private college that Bellamy attended was. “I think it’s a private school.” He was pretty sure he goes to the school Clarke is applying to and  fuck  he’s spending too much time with Miller’s friends.

“You’re fucking someone, but you don’t even know what school they attend? How did you meet him?” He reached his hand out for the blunt again.

Murphy handed it to him. “Those are the boring details. Shouldn’t you be more interested in the sex part?”

Miller coughed at that. “No,” He laughed as he struggled to get his coughing to a minimum. “No, I don’t want to know details.”

“Oh, come on, you don’t wanna know about how hard he fucks me?” Murphy smirked.

“Dude,” He handed the blunt back.

Murphy held his hands up after balancing the weed between his lips. “Okay, okay. I’ll spare you the details.” He looked out the window again. Their block wasn’t very busy. He’d only seen one car drive down the road in the past half an hour, and it was one of their neighbors.

“Well, everyone’s coming over soon, if you wanna join. Unless you have plans with your new boyfriend?” Miller raised his eyebrows.

_I can’t have plans with Bellamy if Bellamy has plans with you._ “Not my boyfriend, and I guess I’ll sit with you guys.” He shrugged.  Or I  can have plans with Bellamy when you have plans with him.

“Do you wanna invite him tonight?”

Murphy laughed at that. “I’m good.”

“Is he treating you well?” Miller’s voice came out soft but with purpose.

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well Finn treats you like shit, and-“

“Oh my god,” He rolled his eyes. “I get it, Finn’s not great. Again, I haven’t even seen him recently.”  _Because apparently I fuck your dad as rent._

Miller sighed. “I just want to know if this guy is nice.”

“You’d like him. In fact, I think you guys would be great friends.” He chuckled at his own joke.

Miller smiled. “So invite him tonight!”

Murphy pursed his lips. “He’ll be there,” The words just slipped out of his mouth. “In spirit.” He quickly tried to recover from his own mistake.

“How long were you smoking before I came up here?” Miller laughed out.

Murphy smiled. “He’s really nice,” He was still looking out of the window, eyes trained on the sun going down.

The sky was turning a beautiful pinkish orange color. Pink was Murphy’s favorite color. He would never tell anyone that, of course, but he couldn’t deny the warm feeling the softness of the color gave him. Sure he mostly wore black, but that’s just because that’s what he looked good in. Plus, they didn’t make many pink leather jackets.

“Is he?” Miller’s voice snapped Murphy out of his thoughts.

“He complimented my drawings,” He still had a soft smile on his face.  _I should start painting. I should paint this sky...maybe Bellamy. Fuck, fuck. Get Bellamy out of your mind._

Miller smirked. “Sounds like our little ole Murph has a crush.” 

Murphy blushed to a pink he would not appreciate,  maybe on Bellamy’s cheeks , and stuttered out a response. “I-ha. What? No. No, no. Why would you say that?”

“Well you’re talking about him with this, like, dreamy look on your face. And you even said yourself that you haven’t even seen Finn in a while.”

“I’d see Finn if I wanted to.” Murphy suddenly felt defensive.

“Sure, but how would your boyfriend feel about that?”

“He’s  not  my boyfriend. And fine, I’ll text Finn.”

“No, no, I didn’t say that.” Miller quickly said.

Miller kept talking as Murphy pulled out his phone. He had a few late night texts from Finn, none answered. He rolled his eyes, but typed out a message anyway.

<Murphy< hey

“...Don’t press send.” Was the end of Miller’s rant. He only heard it after he pressed send.

Murphy gave him an apathetic shrug.

“You’re the worst.”

“But you love me anyway.” He smiled. Did Miller love him? Probably. You don’t stick around through all of someone’s shit if you don’t. He looked out the window again, still smiling. Murphy’s smile was short lived, though, as he saw Clarke’s car pull up. “Your friends are here.”

“Let’s go then.” Miller pulled Murphy up, who groaned but complied.

Eventually everyone showed up. Clarke and Monty being the designated drivers of the night. They were all drinking, and at first Bellamy seemed surprised that Murphy was there, Murphy guessed he didn’t know he began to sit at his friends’ lunch table, and although for the first half of the night Murphy stayed silent, the older man’s eyes would drift to him now and again.

“Remember when Murphy gave Bell a lap dance?” Jasper’s stupid little voice piped up.

Murphy watched Raven’s eyes flick over to Bellamy’s stiffening form for a second. 

“I mean, I’m just saying I never got one.” He finished.

Murphy quirked up an eyebrow at Jasper. “You want one?”

“No. No more lap dances.” Miller interjected.

“Stop trying to contain me. I’m a free spirit.” Murphy slurred out. He didn’t really want to give Jasper a lap dance, but he did want Bellamy’s eyes back on him. But speaking was enough, because he felt Bellamy’s eyes on him as he talked. He couldn’t help but feel warm.

“Murphy can give anyone a lap dance as long as it’s not for my brother in front of me.” Octavia spoke as she refilled her cup.

The beginning of the night was them doing shots, now everyone was drinking beer, Octavia and Murphy opting for coconut rum.

“Yeah, he can give anyone a lap dance as long as it’s not me.” Bellamy spoke a little slowly as to not slur his words together. He wasn’t wasted, but he was pretty drunk.

Murphy raised an eyebrow at Bellamy, and Bellamy gave him a small shrug.

“Well,” Murphy said, standing up, albeit a little too quickly. “I’ll be in my room.” 

He heard a few protests, but he was doing this so hopefully Bellamy would get an out and fuck him. He made sure to give said man a lingering stare before walking up the stairs to his room.

Ten minutes later, almost on the dot, he heard a light knock on his door.

“Yes?”

Bellamy slowly opened the door, looking down the stairs to make sure no one was watching him, and stepping into Murphy’s room quietly.

“Wow, ten minutes.” Murphy said, looking at the time on his phone. He had a text from Finn, but he had more important things to do, so he put his phone down.

“I didn’t wanna be suspicious.” Bellamy said softly.

“No, that’s fast. I expected you to take longer. Although, it has been a few days since we’ve fucked...” He trailed off.

“O’s been home, and someone’s always here,” Bellamy gave him a sheepish smile.

Murphy’s heart stung a little, but he wasn’t quite sure why. “No, I get it,” Murphy leaned forward and lowered his voice. “You wanna fuck me now?”

Bellamy took big strides over to Murphy, pulling him up off the bed and kissing him hard.

Murphy stumbled a little and kissed back fervently. Bellamy tasted like a mix of soda and a hint of beer.  _For fucks sake_ ,  Murphy thought,  _he was probably nice enough to rinse his mouth out with soda before he came up here._ He felt like he was drinking soda. Bellamy’s tongue warm, but sending cold hot sparks down his spine. He was refreshing. Like a cold drink on a hot day. But this kiss didn’t cool him off, it made him hotter. He just wanted to be naked with Bellamy. He wouldn’t let himself be completely naked with Bellamy, but he wanted it.

Bellamy felt intoxicated not only from the alcohol, but the kiss. Murphy tasted like coconut rum and candy. Bellamy absentmindedly wondered why Murphy always tasted like candy, but he didn’t mind. He was so delicious.

“Fuck me, Blake,” Murphy whispered breathlessly once he pulled away from their kiss.

“We have to be fast,” Bellamy said as he quickly rid himself of his clothes.

Murphy felt a little pang in his heart again as he remembered that, yes, this is a secret. Sure it was hot, but it was something that maybe embarrassed Bellamy. Or at least made Bellamy feel some type of way to keep this a secret—to not even come out. Everyone would be so accepting of him. Maybe because he was outed before he was ready, he didn’t see the big deal in coming out. But if he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready. Unless he was just embarrassed of Murphy. 

Murphy shook his head and removed everything from the waist down. He sat on the bed as Bellamy grabbed the lube and a condom, and went to cover his fingers in the slippery substance.

“Oh,” Murphy blushed ever so lightly. “I kinda anticipated this, and the need for it to be fast, so I sorta...” He trailed off and bit his lip.

“Fuck that’s so hot.” Bellamy kissed Murphy harder, teeth clanking against each other before their tongues could meet again. 

Bellamy put the condom on, and coated his cock in lube. He teased Murphy’s pre-stretched hole with the head of his cock. He felt Murphy shiver under him.  _I love how responsive he is. I wonder if he’s like this with Finn._

Murphy wrapped one hand in Bellamy’s hair, and the other gripped his sheets in anticipation. A flicker of worry that he didn’t stretch himself enough crossed his mind when Bellamy began to push in slowly, but he couldn’t deny the burn felt good. And Bellamy was always patient with a airing till Murphy adjusted. 

Bellamy slowly bottomed out, and Murphy tightened his hand in Bellamy’s hair, moaning into the kiss. Murphy pulled his lips away just such, so he could tell Bellamy to  move . The older man didn’t have to be told twice, snapping his hips backwards and then sharply back into Murphy’s hole.

The curly haired man quickly covered Murphy’s mouth with his hand, but Murphy was very responsive and loud when Bellamy fucked him. Murphy didn’t know why, but he just felt like electricity when he was with him. 

“Murph,” Bellamy grunted out a few thrusts later. “You gotta be quiet.” It’s not that he didn’t like his moans, in fact he loved them. He just didn’t want to be caught.

Murphy rolled his eyes and pulled Bellamy’s hand off his mouth. He didn’t say anything, just placed Bellamy’s hand on his throat. Bellamy seemed taken aback, slowing his pace only slightly.

“Wait,” He started.

“It’ll keep me quiet.” Murphy said, looking into Bellamy’s eyes, searching for a sign if he went too far.

Bellamy just leaned down and gave him an abrupt kiss before pressing down with his fingers, careful not to press down on his esophagus. He wondered if Murphy expected him to know how to properly choke him, or if he just trusted him enough. He has to trust him if he’s asking to be choked.

“Harder, Blake,” Murphy strained out, not because he couldn’t breathe, but because he was trying to hold back his moaning.

Bellamy’s hips picked up their pace again, and he pressed harder on the sides of the younger man’s neck, watching his face turn red. Murphy let out a choked moan, and threw his head back as the other man hit his prostate dead on with each thrust.

“Fuck, Murphy,” He let his hand go for a second, and kissed him, eating his moans for a moment before resuming pressure on his neck when he could tell said boy was getting close. His moans get higher pitched when he’s close, and just the noises that were coming from Murphy, the noises that couldn’t come from him, it was all too much.

It seemed to be too much for Murphy too, because he came with a silent scream, Bellamy following suit, coming with a groan he muffled with Murphy’s mouth. Bellamy thrusted through both their orgasms, stopping once exhausted, taking his hand off Murphy’s neck. He wanted so badly to just collapse on the bed and lay down, but he needed to check on Murphy.

“Are you okay?” Concern was written all over Bellamy’s face.

“M’fine.” Murphy muttered, clearly worn out.

“Shit,” 

“What?” Murphy didn’t bother to open his eyes.

“There’s a mark on your neck.”

“Should be gone by tomorrow,” He began, then opened his eyes. “You should also go back to your friends. They’re probably wondering where you are.” His voice was scratchy and honestly it made Bellamy’s spent dick stir.

“Yeah,” Bellamy shook his head and got up. “Yeah. I should go back.” He got dressed and fixed his hair in Murphy’s mirror. “Hopefully Octavia starts going out again so we can...” He trailed off. “Alright, yeah. I’ll be downstairs.” And then he was gone.

Murphy sighed. He wished Bellamy was at least not ashamed to come out to his sister. Just say he’s fucking Murphy. He didn’t get why it had to be a secret.  _No. But it’s hotter this way._ He reassured himself.

He cleaned himself up, and remembered the text from Finn.

>Finn> You finally realized he’s embarrassed by you? 

<Murphy< hes not embarrassed by me

>Finn> Then tell me his name. Tell anyone his name

Murphy bit his lip, and then his phone went off again.

>Finn> I’m not embarrassed by you

“Fuck,” He sighed out. How the fuck was he supposed to feel about that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t worry finn won’t be here forever, he just needs to drive them together by first driving them apart. anyways! kudos and comments are always appreciated <3  
> thank you for reading !  
> also! please be safe everyone, i hope you’re all okay w what’s going on rn x


	9. The Monday Before

“Been a while,” Finn smirked as he pulled Murphy into a hug with one arm, his right hand occupied with a blunt.

It was lunch on Monday, Murphy had all weekend to think about what Finn had to say. All weekend to think about what Bellamy kept saying. All the words that basically meant “you embarrass me”. He had just talked to Bellamy on the phone, because, as he said, Octavia’s been staying home—or hanging out with Murphy, so they couldn’t see each other. Their phone call was rough. For Murphy at least, Bellamy was probably relieved. 

_“What do you mean we shouldn’t...” Bellamy trailed off._

_“Fuck? Yeah we shouldn’t fuck anymore.” Murphy rolled his eyes. He was in a secluded hallway during lunch._

_“Why? What happened?”_

Murphy bit out a laugh.  Because you’re embarrassed by me.  “We just can’t, okay?” 

_Maybe Murphy was jumping to conclusions, but Bellamy’s actions spoke louder than words. He was showing him he was embarrassed by him. His most latest action being telling Octavia he was bi-curious, probably bisexual, but made no mention of a guy. Octavia brought it up to Murphy and he just had to act dumb about it._

_Murphy didn’t know why he cared so much—he doesn’t want to get hurt first. No. He doesn’t care. He just doesn’t want to waste his time._

_“Is this about Finn?”_

_“Why does everyone in the world think every-fucking-thing is about Finn?” Murphy spat out. Okay, so it was only a little bit about Finn. Just his words, not really him as a person._

_“Look, if I’ve done anything to hurt you-“_

_“Why’d you stop hanging out with me when I was outed?” Murphy blurted out. He didn’t really know why he said that, but he did, and now it’s out there and they both have to deal with that._

_Bellamy hesitated. “I-Murphy, I’m-“_

_“And why are you even talking to me now? Because I gave you one shitty lap dance and you figured ‘hey he’s a slut anyway, maybe I can pretend I’m bi-curious to get a quick fuck in’?” Murphy cut off Bellamy._

_“Whoa, I did not call you a slut, Murphy, listen to me-“_

_“I’m fucking done listening to other people. I don’t need to listen to you.”_

_“Please, just,” Bellamy sighed. “Just, can we talk?”_

_“No. I gotta go. I have class.” Murphy said and hung up his phone before Bellamy could answer. Maybe he was being too harsh, but it’s not likely it hurt Bellamy’s feelings. Just his ego, which could be knocked down a few pegs, Murphy thinks._

_Now he had two options here. Either sit with Miller and his friends and be mean to them because of his mood, or sit outside with Finn and smoke. It didn’t matter if he was in a bad mood around Finn. Maybe they’d skip and fuck or something. Yes. Finn was more appealing._

“Is that weed?” Murphy ignored Finn, and reached for the blunt. He took a nice, long hit, and before he could blow out the smoke, Finn kissed him.

The smoke traveled between their mouths as Finn shoved his tongue into Murphy’s mouth. Finn tasted like he’d been smoking weed all day. Or maybe it was the smoke in their mouths, either way, he didn’t like it too much. Murphy pulled away first, and opened his eyes just in time to see Finn blowing out the smoke from the kiss.

“Things with your boytoy didn’t go well?” Finn feigned pity.

“Boytoy,” He huffed out. He took another hit before Finn took the blunt back. “I’m still pissed at you, though.” He squinted. It was just starting to get warm outside again, and the sun was very bright.

“I’ll always be here to care about you, Murph. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Not interested in fighting, just want to get high.”

Finn let out a huff, clearly not happy with Murphy’s attitude. “What have I done wrong?”

Murphy blinked and looked at Finn, dumbfounded. “What?”

Finn kept smoking, holding back a pitiful smirk after giving Murphy a once over.

Murphy felt very small in that moment. “Whatever. You’re a prick.” He turned around and walked back in the school.

_Time for plan B. Miller’s friends._

Murphy walked into the cafeteria and walked over to Miller’s table.

“Hey dude, sit down,” Miller smiled at him.

“You been smoking?” Raven asked, sniffing after Murphy sat next to her.

“Not really.”

“Well listen, Murph,” Jasper said, and Murphy began to wonder when Miller’s friends got nickname-level comfortable with him. “I’m having a huge party on Friday. You down?”

“Who’s going?” Normally he wouldn’t care, but he didn’t really want to see either Bellamy or Finn.

“Everyone! Including you, you’re in!” Jasper smiled and continued to eat his food and talk.

“Hey, at least you’ll get free weed and booze.” Raven said to Murphy, noticing his apprehension.

“I’m more of a hard liquor sorta guy, but you had me at weed.” He shrugged.

“So how’s...” Raven started in a quiet voice, and trailed off, motioning with her hand.

“How’s what?” Murphy knew what she was talking about, but he just felt like being annoying.

Raven looked at Octavia and then back at Murphy, who just rolled his eyes.

“Bellamy,” She finally whispered once she knew Octavia’s attention was not directed at them. 

“I dunno, you should ask him if you wanna know so badly.” He shrugged.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened, because there was nothing happening in the first place.” He snapped out in a hushed tone.

Raven rolled her eyes, clearly not affected by Murphy’s harshness. Maybe she was the only one, besides Octavia, of Miller’s friends he could be friends with himself.

“Murph!” Octavia called from the other end of the table. Once he looked up at her she continued, talking over the other multiple conversations happening around them. “Wanna come over after school?”

Murphy thought for a second. He didn’t want to see Bellamy. “Mine?”

“Fine, then you have to help me with my math homework, okay?”

“Why would you want Murphy’s help on homework?” Lexa chimed in, not bothering to look at Murphy. Clarke nudged her in the side, but she just shrugged back.

“Murphy’s actually really good at math. He just doesn’t apply himself.” Octavia shot a look over at Murphy at the end of her sentence.

The rest of lunch was just people questioning Murphy’s abilities, and the craziest thing, to Murphy at least, was no one was questioning  him  about his own smarts. They’d ask Octavia and Miller, who, fairly, backed him up. But it’s almost like they didn’t trust the words coming from Murphy’s mouth. Monty and Raven were the only two to stay silent during the whole ordeal.

-

“Good call on coming to your house,” Octavia said as soon as she stepped into Murphy’s room.

“Why?”

“Bell’s in an awful mood.” She rolled her eyes and pulled out her notebook from her bag and handed it to Murphy.

Murphy thought on that for a second, opening the notebook and pretending to inspect the problems rather than timing out the perfect moment to ask, “Why?”

“Boy troubles. I just think he needs to get laid.”

Murphy scoffed at that.

“I’m not asking you to do it.” She hit him on the knee. “I mean, you could. You need to get laid too. By someone other than Finn.”

“Not my type.” He said simply and began to solve the problems she had previously written out. “You know, I could be a professional at this, copying other people’s handwriting.”

“What do you mean he’s not your type?” Octavia seemed completely baffled, ignoring the fact Murphy tried to move past the conversation.

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows. “He’s just-“

“He’s just literally everything you used to describe to me when we were pre-teens.”

“Okay, well I’m probably not his type.” He finally looked up from the notebook.

Octavia sighed in a melodramatic fashion. “You need to give yourself more credit. You’re totally hot, and you got that bad boy thing going for you.”

Murphy openly laughed at that. “Bad boy thing? O, come on.”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I guess I just want you with my brother because then you could be my brother in law and then screw Bellamy, it’s just us.”

“And Lincoln.” He reminded her.

“Obviously. Even though I haven’t seen him in like a week.”

“It’s okay not to see your significant other for a bit, O. He still fucking-“ Murphy did a vague hand gesture and went back to solving Octavia’s math homework.

“You mean he still loves me?” Octavia asked. “Can you not even say the dreaded ‘L’ word?” She half joked.

“I can say it.” He didn’t look up from the paper. “Just don’t like to.”

“You’re so dramatic, just like Bell. You guys are a lot alike. Both very insecure-“

“I am  not  insecure,” Murphy cut her off. “And what the hell does Bellamy have to be insecure about? He’s basically perfect and he can get anyone he wants.”

“I thought he wasn’t your type?” She quirked up an eyebrow.

“He’s just objectively attractive. Just like I’m gay, but I can say you’re objectively attractive as well. Good genes.”

“Thanks, Murph. It’s every girls’ dream to be objectively attractive.” Octavia rolled her eyes again, but there was a twinkle of a smile there. She knew he meant well.

Murphy paused for a beat, there was something Octavia said that bothered Murphy. “What’s Bellamy insecure about?” He looked back down at the paper to make it seem like he wasn’t truly interested.

“Well, he’s a 21 year old man who doesn’t know his sexuality.” She shrugged. “Are you almost done?”

Murphy looked up. “I don’t get that. How do you not know your sexuality? You like the same gender, gay, you like the opposite, straight, you like both? Congratulations you’re bisexual.”

“Just because you were born with a pride flag wrapped around you, doesn’t mean everyone knows their sexuality like that. He said he’s only been attracted to one guy. He won’t tell me who, I’m assuming one of his college friends. But that’s really throwing him off. He’s always been into girls and now, suddenly, there’s this one ‘magical’ guy.” She giggled. “Sorry, the way Bell talks about this guy, god. He sounds fake.”

Murphy bit his lip to fight back a smile. “Wait, I thought there was no guy.” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“He lied.” She smirked. “I called him out on it, because his shitty mood was obviously due to his new love life, and he just sorta...word-vomited a bunch of things about this guy before I came here. That’s what took me so long. But oh god, don’t tell anyone.”

Murphy nodded, taking in her information. “I’m done, by the way.” He handed her back the notebook.

“Wow, it really does look like my handwriting.” She said simply.

_Did Bellamy refer to me as...magical? Why would O use that word if he didn’t say it. She air quoted it for fucks sake. Does he care about me? It has to just be infatuation. Who would like me? Of all people, Blake would be lowest on the list. But then why was he talking about me like that?_

Murphy was brought out of his thoughts by Octavia’s snapping fingers. “Hello?”

“What?”

She sighed heavily. “You don’t listen. I was asking if you and Miller need a ride to Jasper’s. I’m making Bell drive.” She smiled.

“No, thanks. Miller’s gonna drive. His dad’s gonna be home Friday night, so he doesn’t want to be drunk.”

“Are you gonna drink?”

Murphy shrugged. “Depends. I mean, it’s Jasper’s, so I could always get high.”

“Jasper’s is gonna be wild. Everyone’s coming.”

“Yeah, I heard.”

Octavia hit him on the knee gently. “Be more excited, hey, maybe you’ll find your prince charming.” She winked.

Murphy rolled his eyes. “Sure,” 

Murphy didn’t know why, but he was nervous for the party. If worst came to worst, he could always walk home. That gave him some comfort. He could always leave if he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ! so sorry this is coming out so late , quarantine has me wonky . also ! sorry this is short , the next chapter is going to be longer  
> also also i’ve been working on a new oneshot and the next chapter for this story (im all out of order) so that should be out soonish ! i just have to edit it to fit this chapter because it’s one of the original ideas i had for this story so it was prewritten and ah i just need to make some things line up and then i need to tie it all up (it’s not over yet ! i just mean the chapter lol)  
> anyways , thank you so much for your patience , i hope u guys like this  
> i also hope ur staying safe x  
> thank you for reading <3


	10. Jasper’s Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw !! attempted rape but it is unsuccessful and not graphic !!

Bellamy stood by the window with a soda in his hand. He was at the perfect angle where he could converse with people, and keep an eye on Murphy, all while looking natural doing it. The night was fine, Murphy was alone, Bellamy felt bad, but that’s what he wanted, so whatever. The night was fine, yes, Murphy ignored Finn a few times, that is until Finn slipped onto the couch next to him with a drink for the subject of Bellamy’s eyes to take, who immediately smiled and accepted the drink. Bellamy felt a stinging in his heart. It wasn’t the same smile Bellamy got though, it was more tight, forced almost. Or maybe he was just looking more into things.

Finn made a gesture towards the drink, and Murphy got the message and downed his current drink to accept that one. Bellamy clenched his jaw.

“There a problem?” Raven’s voice popped Bellamy out of his thoughts.

He looked at her, eyes wide, like he’d been caught doing something bad. “What?”

“You mad that Finn’s talking to him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He felt his face getting hot. He took a sip of his soda.

Raven sighed when she saw Bellamy’s eyes flicker back over to Murphy for a split second. “First of all, you sound just like him. Second of all, you’re so obvious.”

“Raven, I don’t know what you think you’re talking about, but I think you have the wrong information.” He laughed a little nervously.

“Oh my god! It’s basically word for word what Murphy said.” She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “I know that you two hook up.” She challenged. “Or used to...”

“What?” He snapped in a low whisper, eyes moving back to Murphy. He was staring forwards, and Finn was smirking while talking to him. Bellamy wished in that moment that he could read lips.  _Murphy seems tense._

“Calm down, Murphy didn’t tell me. I figured it out. He came into school with a hickey that Finn didn’t make, proven by Finn’s reaction to it, and then poor, oblivious Octavia said Murphy smelled like  _your_ cologne.” She emphasized ‘your’ with a little tap of her beer bottle on his chest. 

“Could’ve been his cologne.” Bellamy shrugged. He didn’t know why he was trying. She obviously knew.

“Murphy wears cologne?”

Bellamy sighed.

“Exactly. Anyway, looks like obliviousness runs in the Blake family.”

“Hey, I’m not oblivious. What am I oblivious about?” The man frowned.

“Murphy clearly likes you, dude.”

Bellamy swallowed, eyes flickering back over to the couch, Murphy seemed a little looser by that point. Something about it, seeing him so relaxed with Finn—what a sorry excuse for a man, Bellamy thought. His eyes met Raven’s again, and he decided to ask, “Why? Did he...”

“Say something? Of course not. But he hasn’t been talking about Finn either.” She raised an eyebrow. “And we all know he was desperate for Finn for a bit.”

“Don’t call him desperate.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, he started sitting with everyone at lunch. He used to do god knows what with Finn. I think something happened. Maybe Finn pulled the last straw.” She looked over at them. “Or maybe not.” She bit her lip as she saw Murphy stumble to his feet after Finn stood.

Bellamy didn’t expect to feel the amount of rage he did, but it hit him like a wall of bricks. “Finn’s sober.” He said.

“What?”

“Finn’s sober and Murphy’s not.” He said as he watched Finn pull Murphy up the stairs.

And before Raven could respond, Bellamy was in motion. 

He sighed, reaching the top of the stairs, as he reassured himself this was the correct thing to do, even if Murphy gets mad. Bellamy knocked on the first door, and tried jiggling the doorknob, locked. A clear sign neither of them are in there, Murphy doesn’t lock doors, plus he’s drunk, and Finn doesn’t seem like the type of person to care. With each door, his knocking got progressively harder, eventually he just tried opening the doors without knocking at all. He opened the last door on the left to find Murphy pinned against the closet by Finn, who was attacking his mouth. Murphy seemed very pliant against his lips.

“Hey,” It came out much quieter than he expected, probably unheard over the music pumping through the house. Bellamy cleared his throat, then spoke louder. “Get the fuck off him.”

Finn seemed to hear him, because he pulled away and turned to sneer at Bellamy. Murphy stumbled and held onto Finn.

“Blake? What, this gonna be a three way?” Murphy slurred.

“Finn,” Bellamy continued, ignoring Murphy. “You’re sober, he’s clearly fucking not. Get the hell out of here.”

“Oh, so you’re the mysterious fuck.” Finn smirked.

“Regardless, I’m not going to let you rape someone.” Bellamy spat out.

Finn stiffened, expression hardening. Clearly, he wasn’t happy with Bellamy’s word choice. “He wants me, Blake. He chose me over you.”

Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s drunk, Finn!”

Murphy was trying to pull Finn back to him, or maybe he was just trying to ground himself, who just slapped his hands away. He slumped against the wall, and his eyes kept closing, but he forced them open each time. It looked like it physically hurt him to keep his eyes open.

“M’tired,” He heard Murphy mumble.

Finn spared Murphy a glance, but didn’t seem to care, just seemed to care that Bellamy was there. He turned back to said man interrupting his enjoyment. “Bellamy get the hell out.” He sounded...desperate? That’s the only word Bellamy could think of to describe it.

“Or what? You gonna hit me? Try.” Bellamy was bigger than Finn, for sure stronger, and they both knew that.

Finn looked at Murphy, whose eyes were closed now, back to Bellamy, his eyes flickered with slight worry as Murphy slumped lower and lower against the wall. He eventually just huffed out a “Good luck with him.” and walked out the door.

“You owe me a fuck, Blake.” Murphy mumbled, trying to stand up straight just to flop down onto the bed in front of him with a soft ‘oof’.

Bellamy slammed the door behind Finn and locked it. He ran his hands over his face after a few seconds, taking some time to process and plan. “Murphy,” He said into his hands. He sighed and turned around. “Murph?” 

Murphy was on his stomach, head turned to the side, eyes closed, and breathing softly. Bellamy sighed again.

“Well shit,” Bellamy bit his lip and stared at the unconscious boy before him.

He shook the younger man, to no avail. He came to the conclusion after a few minutes that the only way to get him out was to carry him. And he couldn’t take him back to Miller’s passed the fuck out. So he picked Murphy up bridal style, and set off to find Octavia. She was with Lincoln and a few other people he didn’t recognize.

“O,” Bellamy said once he got close enough.

“Bell!” Octavia exclaimed, before turning around, her smile dropping, her face twisting into bewilderment. “What—is he okay?” She grabbed his wrist, he assumed she was feeling for a pulse.

“Yes, he’s just drunk. He fell asleep. But we need to go home. Now.”

“No, come on, I’m having fun.” She pouted.

“Bellamy,” Lincoln said, taking his eyes off Murphy. “I can drive Octavia home. I wasn’t planning on drinking tonight. Just,” His eyes dropped back down to Murphy’s limp form. “Make sure he’s okay. Bring him to a hospital if he needs?”

“He’s fine,” Bellamy said despite the pit forming in his stomach. “Thanks, Lincoln. O, don’t come home too late.”

Bellamy walked out of the party with Murphy in his arms. He carefully laid him in the back seat of his car, putting the buckles around him, just in case. He drove slowly and softly, checking on Murphy every minute or so until they got back to Bellamy’s house.

He eventually laid Murphy down on his bed. He stared at him for a bit. His heart fluttered a tad. He was so beautiful in the dull glimmer of pink light that the sunset cast through his window. He let a few moments pass before he pulled out his phone and clicked on Miller’s contact name.

<Bellamy< Murphy passed out at Jasper’s, so I brought him to my house. I’ll drop him off in the morning.

Fuck it, if that raises suspicion. Raven already knew, Finn now knew, possibly Octavia and Lincoln, and maybe they weren’t the most careful or subtle. He didn’t know if he was outing himself or not, but it’s better than Murphy ‘going missing’ for a night. God. Mr. Miller would go nuts.

>Miller> What??? 

>Miller> Why are you with him?

Bellamy sighed, and not even a second later, his phone went off again.

>Miller> Nvm, thanks dude. Just make sure he’s okay 

<Bellamy< Of course.

Bellamy pulled off Murphy’s shoes, and then covered him with a blanket. He hopped in the shower and scrubbed the night off of him. When got out of the shower, he took a few moments to look at himself in the mirror.

Objectively he would say he was attractive. He’s not bad looking, he has some nice muscles, curly hair, tanned skin, fucking freckles. He would say his biggest, possibly only, downfall. Other people seem to love them, but they’re Bellamy’s least favorite part of himself. He liked how Murphy drew them in his picture, though. Lightly dusted over his skin. Like he was kissed by the sun and each kiss left a tiny star in its place. 

Bellamy’s heart twisted at the thought of Murphy. He shook his head, got dressed, and went to the kitchen to eat a slice of cold pizza that he was too lazy to heat it up. Bellamy finished, and headed back to his room.

Murphy was exactly how Bellamy left him; on his back with his head lolled to the side. Bellamy couldn’t see his chest rising and falling under the blankets, and only in the new glow of the moonlight. He walked closer, and stuck his finger just under his nose, keeping it there until he felt a gentle breeze of air over his finger. Very faint. He sat softly on the edge of the bed next to the brunette.

Bellamy brushed Murphy’s hair out of his face. He liked it long. He really liked when Octavia braided it for him, but it was better down, because he could play with it.

He found himself distracted in playing with Murphy’s hair. Time passed, and the room was completely dark by the time Murphy began to move.

Bellamy pulled his hand away quickly and stood up, only to the kneel next to his bed to be face to face with Murphy.

“Murphy,” Bellamy whispered.

Murphy blinked his eyes open to see a silhouette in front of him. He tried sitting up but his body felt heavier than he was strong. He immediately felt panicked.

“Murphy, it’s me. It’s Bellamy.” He put a hand on Murphy’s chest, which was now quickly and visibly rising and falling, sensing his fear. “You’re okay. You just drank too much.”

“Bellamy?” Murphy tried to rub his eyes, but he couldn’t lift his hands. He settled for blinking a few times before speaking again, voice groggy. “I didn’t drink. I had, like, half a cup of something. I can’t remember.”

“I saw you drinking all night.” Bellamy frowned, unsure of why he was lying.

“Soda,” He murmured as he closed his eyes again. He was dizzy and tired.

Bellamy’s heart rate began to increase as the severity of the situation began to sink into his head. “Murphy.” He said, feeling Murphy’s chest calm down, he put his hand on his shoulder, shaking it gently.

“M’tired.” Murphy mumbled.

“You only had soda tonight?” He asked in a calm voice.

“Yeah,” He breathed out. “Besides whatever Finn gave me. Maybe I had more after that, I dunno. I can’t remember.” He repeated.

“Murphy, you have to stay awake right now, okay?”

“But I’m tired. What are you doing here?” His voice was just above a mumble now, still very low and lazy. 

“This is my room.”

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows, and rubbed his eyes successfully this time. “Why am I in your room?”

“You passed out at Jasper’s,” It was getting harder to keep his voice level, but he didn’t want to freak Murphy out.

“Oh,” Murphy paused, thinking. “I probably had more than one drink then...I dunno. I don’t really remember.” He said the ending as he breathed out, repeating himself again.

Bellamy got up. That was the final straw. Without a single thought, he turned to walk towards the door, almost on autopilot. That is, until he felt a strong hand grab at his wrist, and heard a meek voice speak up.

“Bell,”

He turned to look at Murphy even though all he could see was the outline of his body. He was now laying on one side, left arm outstretched, holding onto Bellamy’s left wrist.

“Where are you going?” Murphy didn’t let go of Bellamy’s wrist.

_To beat up Finn_.  “I’ll be right back.” He promised.

“Please stay.” He sounded so...broken.

Bellamy kneeled back down in front of Murphy, and placed his hand on his cheek. It was wet. Murphy sniffled slightly, he didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew something was wrong. Bellamy was acting weird, and he couldn’t move. His thoughts swirled like the world around him. He just wanted to feel safe. Bellamy made him feel safe. “Please,” He repeated, softer.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll stay.” Bellamy’s tone was still hushed, and he brushed a tear off Murphy’s cheek. He’d never seen him cry. To be fair, he still wasn’t seeing him cry, but he knew he was.

Murphy’s grip on Bellamy’s wrist was iron tight, and he held it to his cheek, like if Bellamy’s hand left his face he wouldn’t be able to breathe. The younger of the two’s breath was coming in choppy. Bellamy bit his lip before leaning forward and lightly kissing Murphy’s forehead. Dusting over his skin with pepper light kisses, just like how Murphy drew his freckles.

Sometime later, Murphy fell asleep, but his hand was still holding onto Bellamy tightly. Bellamy found a way to crawl over the smaller man and settle into bed, holding onto Murphy with his free hand, well Murphy held onto his other hand. It wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, and Bellamy had a lot on his mind, but Murphy’s hair was so soft and smelled like apples, and eventually the older of the two drifted off to sleep as well.

The next morning, Murphy tried to stretch out, but he felt tangled. He felt the warm body around his, and he could immediately recognize Bellamy’s cologne.  _Did I fuck Bellamy last night? I’m still in my clothes...what the fuck happened?_

Murphy, in his attempt to pull away from Bellamy’s heavy grip and their intertwined legs, fell onto the floor. He laid on his back and sighed.

“Murph?” He heard Bellamy mumble from above him.

Murphy sat up. “Why was I in your bed, fully clothed?”

Bellamy propped himself up on his elbows and raised his eyebrows. “You expected to be naked?”

“Well if I’m in your bed, yeah.” He rubbed his head.

“Are you okay?” Bellamy’s tone changed.

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows.  _Why does Bellamy sound worried?_ “Yeah, I think I hit my head on your floor.” He stared at Bellamy for a beat before continuing. “What happened last night? Clearly we didn’t sleep together.”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not much.”

“How much did you drink last night?” Bellamy asked.

“I didn’t drink at all last night,” Murphy scoffed. “But honestly, I don’t remember much of the night, I was sitting on the couch,” Murphy closed his eyes, concentrating on his foggy memory. “Oh!” Murphy opened his eyes. “Finn gave me some beer. But...”

“But that’s not enough to make you pass out and black out.” Bellamy finished Murphy’s sentence.

“I passed out?”

“I brought you here, because I didn’t want you to get in trouble. I thought you drank too much, but then you told me you didn’t drink at all...minus the drink Finn gave you.” His voice was soft at the end.

Murphy began to scratch his collarbone. “So what? You just, like, found me somewhere?” His voice sounded a little panicked, but he was hoping Bellamy didn’t pick up on that. What Bellamy definitely did pick up on though was the fact that Murphy’s eyebrows seemed to be knitted together.

“No, no,” Bellamy sat up fully. “I found you and Finn making out, I told him to fuck off, then you passed out. After he left.” 

Murphy stayed silent, choosing to look under Bellamy’s bed rather than at him, taking in all the information.

“Murphy, we-“

“Can you take me home?” He looked up with big eyes.

Bellamy bit his lip and sighed. “I think we need to talk.”

“About what? Nothing happened, right? If nothing happened then there’s nothing to talk about.” Murphy felt Bellamy’s eyes staring down at him, and in that moment he felt dumb for being on the floor. Standing up, stumbling only a little, he continued to speak. “Are you gonna take me home, or am I walking?”

“Murphy,” Bellamy sighed, standing up too. “We have to talk about what happened.”

“Why? Nothing fucking happened!” He let out an exasperated sigh when Bellamy just stared back with a soft, but stern look, holding him in his place. “Nothing fucking happened, Bellamy!” He repeated, scratching at his collarbone again.

“Stop, Murph, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Bellamy went to pull Murphy’s hand away from his skin, but Murphy retracted away from his touch.

“Don’t touch me!” He snapped, his breathing fast. “I-“ He pulled his hand away from his reddened skin. “Nothing,” He was looking down, but Bellamy could hear his voice trembling. “Nothing happened, right?”

Bellamy pulled Murphy into a protective hug, and then spoke. “Nothing happened,” He reassured. “I was there. Nothing happened.”

He felt Murphy shaking slightly under him; he was crying again. Bellamy kissed the top of the younger boy’s head, and kept his face buried in his hair. He wasn’t sure how long they were standing like that, but eventually Murphy’s voice spoke up.

“How’d I get here?”

“What do you mean?” Bellamy mumbled into his hair.

“Like how’d you get me here?”

“I carried you,” Bellamy spoke slowly, unsure of where Murphy was going with that.

“Like over your shoulder? In front of everyone?” The second question was softer, almost like he didn’t mean to ask it.

Bellamy let out a slight laugh, his chest making Murphy’s head fall and rise with it. “Not over my shoulder, why would I carry you like that? Like, more like a baby.”

Murphy pulled away from Bellamy’s embrace and gave him a questioning look.

“And yeah, in front of everyone.” Bellamy finished.

Murphy bit his lip, and a soft shade of pink went over his paler-than-usual cheeks.

“Oh, and,” Bellamy walked over to his closet and pulled something off the top shelf. “I got you this,” He held out a sketch pad. “Because you draw in a notebook, and I think an artist needs...art paper.” He smiled.

Murphy took it slowly, remaining silent.

“Oh, but I took up the first page. A little repayment from the drawing I took from you.”

“I,” Murphy didn’t know what to say. No one has ever been that nice to him. He looked up at Bellamy with red eyes.

“I know,” Bellamy said softly, getting what Murphy meant through his eyes.

Murphy’s phone went off.

“Fuck, it’s Miller, I gotta go home,” 

“I’ll drive,”

The car ride was mostly silent, Murphy kept his head pressed a little too harshly against the window, and his eyes were screwed shut. He didn’t feel good.

“We’re almost there, Murph,” Bellamy said when the traffic light turned green and Murphy groaned as the car went back into motion.

Bellamy was starting to get worried. He didn’t know what Finn gave Murphy, but it make him pass out, black out, and now he was sick? He bit his lip as a pit started to form in his own stomach.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to a doctor?” Bellamy tried.

“M’fine.” He mumbled.

“Murphy—“

“Blake.” Murphy cut through Bellamy’s voice like a sword. “I’m not talking about this. Fuck, can you pull over?”

Bellamy pulled over, they were one house away from Murphy’s. Murphy opened the door, and leaned out of the car to rid of the previous night. Bellamy rubbed his back until he was done.

Bellamy brushed the hair off his sweaty forehead once he was sitting back up. There were circles under Murphy’s eyes. Bellamy really felt wrong about just dropping him off at home like he wasn’t drugged.

“Okay,” His eyes were closed, and he was ready to go home, but Bellamy only really had to drive about three feet by that point.

“You sure you don’t wan—“

“Thanks,” Murphy cut him off. “For the night, and driving me home, and um, this.” He held up the sketch pad. He gave Bellamy a tight smile and got out of the car.

As soon as he walked in the house, Mr. Miller was yelling at him. Murphy didn’t even have the energy to defend himself, which Mr. Miller said was from him throwing up because “you don’t think I saw?”. It ended with him being grounded for two weeks, that included hanging out with Miller’s friends when they all came over, and Mr. Miller storming out of the house.

“Dude, why were you with Bellamy? What the hell happened last night? And I didn’t tell him, he kinda guessed.”

“I don’t care, Miller. I just wanna go to bed.” His voice came out weak.

“Yeah, sure. You okay?”

“Fine,” Murphy forced a smile that he’s sure looked nothing like a smile, and slumped his way upstairs to his room. 

Once he was sitting on his bed, he opened up the sketch pad. On the first page was a poorly drawn picture of Murphy. He smiled softly at it.  _Bellamy drew me back_.  There was a lot of detail, Murphy could tell Bellamy worked on it for a while, even if it wasn’t ‘good’ in the traditional sense. He felt his heart swell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed !! and i hope you’re all staying safe and signing the right petitions and spreading the right message .   
> thank you so much for reading ! comments and kudos are appreciated x


	11. A Week Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hello there’s slight mention of child abuse and a hint towards self harm but it’s not said specifically   
> (both are very brief)  
> ((unless you think abt ... im not gonna spoil the chapter))

Murphy laid down in bed and sighed, tapping his fingers on his chest. The lights were off in his room, but his curtains open, allowing the street lights to illuminate the room partially and poorly. In the dim lighting, it felt like a thick blanket of darkness and heat was laying on top of him. He felt suffocated, so he pulled off his shirt, leaving it crumpled on his floor.

Everyone was downstairs, Murphy wasn’t allowed to see them, and it fucking sucked. Especially when he was just trapped in his room to hear their muffled laughter and chatter. He’d been in his room for about a week straight at that point. He had convinced Mr. Miller that he was sick and couldn’t go to school. He really couldn’t go, if he was being honest. What was he supposed to do if he saw Finn? Which he definitely would. His skin felt itchy just thinking about him.

>Blake> Clarke just spilled her drink on the table.

Murphy smiled softly at his phone. Bellamy was giving him frequent, albeit pointless, updates on everything happening downstairs. Murphy guesses he didn’t want him to feel left out, which made his heart twist in a way that made him feel a bit nauseous and high.

<Murphy< wish u would just come up here

He finally broke the 15 texts Bellamy had sent without a reply. He was half serious. He wanted Bellamy to fuck him, yes, but he knew he couldn’t just break away from everyone and—

>Blake> Want me to?

Murphy stared at the message. He wasn’t really expecting Bellamy to want to. What did he expect though?

<Murphy< if you can manage to sneak away for a bit i can make it worth your while

Murphy waited for a reply for about three minutes before sighing, and putting his phone on his bedside table. He closed his eyes, when he heard a knock at the door. Murphy quickly shot up, and picked up his shirt, throwing it over his head before turning on his light and opening the door to see Bellamy.

“I told them I was going to the bathroom.” Bellamy shrugged.

“Ah,” Murphy stepped aside so the older of the two could walk in. “So we’ll have to be fast.”

Murphy closed his door lightly and turned to Bellamy.

“We can also talk if you want to.” Bellamy’s face was so...pure and innocent.

Murphy smirked. “You think I wanna talk?”

“I mean, I haven’t seen you since—“

“In a week.”

Bellamy nodded, getting the hint that Murphy was not willing to talk about what happened. His slight frown quirked into a smile as he walked closer to Murphy, pulling him flush against his body by his waist. “Shirt’s inside out,” He nosed the hair around the boy’s ear, and proceeded to kiss down his neck.

Murphy’s eyes fluttered shut, and he wrapped his arms around Bellamy’s broad shoulders, one hand landing in his unruly curls. Bellamy’s hands rested on Murphy’s hips, thumbs circling his hipbones. The older man bit down on the younger man’s neck right where it connected to his shoulder lightly, but enough to cause a little sound to escape Murphy’s lips.

“Wanna see you,” Bellamy muttered into Murphy’s skin.

“You’re seeing me now, Blake,” Murphy breathed out.

“All of you,” He had kissed up to Murphy’s ear, and his voice was low and husky.

“No, you don’t,” Murphy muttered.

Bellamy pulled his face away at that, just a fraction of an inch. “Yes I do.”

Murphy opened his eyes to roll them. “Can we just fuck?”

“Why are you hiding from me?”

“I’m not!” Murphy pulled away from Bellamy. “Look,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Finn didn’t even wanna see me without a shirt.”

“I’m not Finn! Finn’s a shitty fucking person! I just—“

“Why does it matter anyway? Aren’t we just fucking?” Murphy regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, because Bellamy looked hurt by them. “I mean, isn’t that what this is? I thought you were just trying to figure shit out.” He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling very guarded now.

“No,” Bellamy said after a beat. “I like you. That’s all that matters. Murphy, I like you,” He was searching Murphy’s icy eyes. “I’m not gonna,” He seemed to think for a bit, rethinking his words. “I’m gonna treat you right, Murphy.”

Murphy wasn’t quite sure what Bellamy meant, but it gave him the push to quickly pull his shirt off, throwing it somewhere to the side. 

Bellamy’s eyes widened for a moment as he studied the jagged scars that danced across his bony chest and stomach. Most were faded other than a few particularly neat ones that seemed to have healed, but not lost the color in them yet.

“Yeah, they’re on my back too.” Murphy said, looking down at the floor.

“What,” He swallowed. “What happened?”

“My mom got drunk a lot after my dad died,” He started scratching his collarbone. “She would, uh. Broken bottles.” He looked at Bellamy. “They’re ugly, I know.”

Bellamy didn’t know what to say, so he kissed him. Firm and tender and slow. “You’re beautiful.” Bellamy murmured against Murphy’s lips, pulling him in by the waist again.

Bellamy softly backed Murphy onto the bed, letting him lay down, and climbing on top. Murphy blinked up at the curly haired man, as his eyes raked over Murphy’s body.

“Do they hurt?” He asked softly, bringing his finger to hover over a particularly long and rough looking one over his heart.

“No, sometimes they get itchy though.” Murphy answered. He didn’t know what Bellamy was planning.

Bellamy leaned down and kissed the scar his finger hovered above softly. Murphy sucked in his breath at the tender gesture. He then dusted kisses over a few scars that were on his chest, until Murphy started to shift under Bellamy.

The older man lowered his mouth, and kissed between Murphy’s ribs. Bellamy licked down a scar that led to Murphy’s hipbone. At that point, Murphy’s breathing was staggered. 

Bellamy palmed Murphy’s half hard dick, refraining from smirking—this was a very intimate moment after all, and he did not want to fuck this up with every part of his being. He wanted to show Murphy that he cares. Show Murphy that he’s not just an experiment. Show him that he’s gonna treat him better than that fuckhead Finn.

“Can I blow you?” Bellamy asked softly, breath ghosting over Murphy’s waist.

“Do you really have to ask?” Murphy asked a little breathlessly.

_Yes, I do. You deserve consent._ Bellamy just licked his lips, and slowly pulled down both Murphy’s pants and boxers.

He lowered his mouth, but not to where Murphy wanted him to, needed him to. He mouthed around the skin next to the base of Murphy’s now hard cock. He sucked softly, and the blue eyed boy wrapped a hand in his soft, curly hair, the other clutching the sheets.

There was a small whine above him, and this time he did allow himself to smirk.

“You do realize your friends are waiting for you, right?” Murphy reminded Bellamy in an attempt to get him to actually pay attention to his cock.

Bellamy responded by kissing Murphy tenderly and slowly. Murphy kissed back hard, showing he needed Bellamy’s attention in a different place right then.

The older of the two pulled his lips away, and rested his forehead on Murphy’s, looking into his eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” He kissed him again before he could respond.

Murphy started rutting his hips against Bellamy’s after a few minutes, and the older man let out a breathy chuckle. “Alright, alright,” 

And he did blow him, but not before kissing down his entire body to the tip of his dick, licking the bead of precum off the head, and then wrapping his mouth around it.

Murphy had to bite one of his hands, the one that wasn’t desperately holding onto Bellamy’s hair, to keep himself from making too much noise as half of his dick became enveloped with wet heat.

Bellamy wasn’t the best at blowjobs, but he certainly wasn’t bad in any regard. He still couldn’t fully take Murphy into his mouth, so his hand made up for the missing space.

When Bellamy sucked in his cheeks, Murphy pulled Bellamy’s hair, causing him to hum slightly, sending shockwaves up Murphy’s spine.

The younger of the two knew he moaned loudly, probably cursed, but he couldn’t focus. He still couldn’t believe his mind that Bellamy damn Blake was blowing him, saying he was beautiful, saying liked him. Murphy felt stupid for believing it, but it made him happy, and he wanted to be happy so bad, and—

“Fuck, Blake,” Murphy said as a warning to Bellamy, but that just made Bellamy move his mouth and hand faster until Murphy came.

Bellamy sucked him dry and then kissed back up his body to his lips. Murphy kissed back lazily in his post orgasm haze, and reached for Bellamy’s hard dick, but he moved his hand away.

“Tonight was just about you, okay?” Bellamy kissed the side of Murphy’s mouth.

“Are you sure? I can quick—“

“You, Murph,” He kissed him again, deep and quick. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Murphy’s heart rate started to calm down, and he was gaining back clarity, but he had no clue what Bellamy was talking about.

“For,” Bellamy thought for a second. Something he seems to do a lot before he talks, especially around Murphy. “For tonight. I know it wasn’t easy. And I mean what I said. You’re absolutely stunning, Murphy.”

Murphy felt a blush rise up his cheeks from his neck and chest. “Okay, okay, go back to your friends.” He was fighting a small smile.

“You sure?”

“Yes, go. They’re probably worried.”

Bellamy kissed him one more time, and fixed Murphy’s inside out shirt while said boy put his pants back on. “Here, but I don’t think you need it.” Bellamy handed it to Murphy, with a kiss on the forehead.

Bellamy opened Murphy’s door to see Miller standing outside the bathroom, facing him and Murphy.

“Oh,” He blinked. He saw a shirtless Murphy and Bellamy with sex hair. “Um, we were all just wondering where you were.”

“Oh,” Bellamy repeated Miller. “I lied. I, uh, came to see Murphy. You know, he’s missing out on all the fun, so...”

“Yeah, yeah. Just, uh, you might wanna fix your hair before you come back downstairs.” Miller smirked and then walked back downstairs.

“Well if he didn’t know before, he knows now.” Bellamy said, realizing, he doesn’t really care if people know. He’d actually rather people know. So they know Murphy isn’t available. So they know they’d have to go through Bellamy before messing with him. “See you soon?” He smiled.

“Yeah, dork.” Murphy couldn’t fight the smile on his face this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long ! there were two roadblocks , the first being i wrote a completely different chapter for this but i didn’t like it so i changed it and the second roadblock was i got some virus (??) not covid thankfully but i almost had to be hospitalized so i was out of writing for a bit , but i finally feel better for the first time today !  
> anyways i know i don’t reply to every comment , but i read and appreciate every single comment , thank you so much
> 
> also thank you so much for reading !! comments and kudos are appreciated <3


	12. Boyfriends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so , so sorry for the delay !!!

“Murph,” Murphy woke up to the sound of Miller banging at his door. “I’m coming in,” Even though he announced himself, he still shielded his eyes. “Decent?”

“Not going,” Murphy was laying on his stomach, one arm hanging off his bed.

“Dude, you have to.” Miller said, dropping his hand. “My dad let you stay home for a week. He said if you’re not actively throwing up—“

“Tell him I’m actively throwing up.” Murphy said simply.

“Why are you avoiding school? Look, you barely even go to classes anyway, you’ll probably just hang out in the parking lot and get high with Finn.”

Murphy closed his eyes, and pulled his arm up, tucking himself almost completely under his blanket, despite the warmth. “Miller. I really don’t feel good.” He said lowly.

“I don’t know what the fuck is happening, but get your shit together, we’re leaving in ten minutes.” And with that, he walked out.

Murphy threw his blankets off him and shot up.  _Fuck, fuck, fuck, one class with him. That’s fine. That’s fine. One class. Okay. Fuck._

Murphy got up and dressed himself, brushing his teeth at the very last minute before getting in Miller’s car.

“You’ve been acting so fucked up lately, are you on something?” Miller looked at Murphy once he closed the door.

Murphy looked at Miller with perplexity. “What? No, I told you—“

“You ‘don’t feel good’, I know.” He started his car, eyes on the road. “But I remember, about two years ago—“

“ Miller ,” Murphy sighed out. “I’m fine. I just stayed up late last night and I’m tired as shit. I’m fine, seriously.”

“Alright, bud. I believe you.” He gave him a short glance before talking again. “So,”

“What?” Murphy was really getting tired of the day and it hadn’t even started yet.

“Bellamy?”

Murphy felt his cheeks turn red. “What about him?”

“You guys, like...”

“I have no fucking clue, Miller. No fucking clue.”

“Did I almost walk in on you guys—“

“If you came up about a minute earlier, yeah.” He cut him off.

Miller cringed. “I thought Bellamy was straight.”

“Didn’t we all,” Murphy looked out the window.

“Well, I think it’s good, whatever it is.”

“Don’t think he’s gonna change me, Miller. He won’t.”

“No one’s asking you to change. People just want you to be a little nicer, less sarcastic, maybe—“

“So change myself.”

“Would being nicer  really  hurt you, Murph?”

“Stop patronizing me.”

They stayed silent for the rest of the car ride. They got to school and Miller left him with a simple “see you at lunch?”, clearly surprised when Murphy said yes, but he smiled and walked to his first class.

Murphy’s heart sank when he heard the bell ring. His first class was his class with Finn. He could pretend to sleep.  _Wouldn’t matter._

He went to the bathroom and texted Bellamy.

<Murphy< u awake

>Blake> I drive O to school, of course I’m awake.

>Blake> I’m assuming you went to school today?

<Murphy< yeah. but i don’t wanna go to first period

>Blake> How can I persuade you to not cut class?

<Murphy< you can’t so don’t try

>Blake> I’ll text you while you sit in class?

<Murphy< you’re texting me now, blake

>Blake> Why don’t you want to go?

<Murphy< just don’t, ok?

Bellamy took a beat to respond, even though Murphy could see he read it. 

>Blake> Alright, what class are you missing, and what are you learning?

<Murphy< you’re not teaching me over text. if ur gonna teach me at least do it in person & strip when i get a question right 

>Blake> Oh, is that so?

Bellamy proceeded to ask Murphy a dumb question, which led to them sexting, and then a phone call, then Murphy jerking off in the school bathroom, clutching his phone in his free hand, listening to Bellamy get off.

Eventually lunch rolled around, and Murphy was in a considerably better mood than that morning. He sat down with Miller, and all of his friends, everyone, including Octavia, looking at him. He supposed they expected him to be outside, but Octavia hugged Murphy sideways and announced.

“Today’s a great day.” 

“Why’s that?” Clarke asked.

Octavia frowned for a second. “Well Murphy’s here.” She shrugged. Murphy knew she had something else on her mind. He could probably get it out of her, he just had to calculate it. Find the right time.

“Anyone notice anything up with Bellamy lately?” Jasper asked. “Like he totally disappeared at my party, and then again on Friday.”

Octavia’s expression changed when she heard what Jasper said. “Friday, at Murph’s,” She said, more so to herself.

_Right time._ “O, wanna go and talk?” Murphy raised his eyebrows, not wanting Octavia to put the pieces together in front of everyone.

He didn’t really wait for her to answer, he just lightly pulled her up, and walked to an empty table. “Okay,” He started. He didn’t really know how much Octavia knew about Bellamy and his sexuality journey, so he wasn’t really sure how to lead the conversation. Good thing Octavia did it for him.

“Is that why he was carrying you like a baby?” She asked softly.

Murphy felt himself blush, and he cleared his throat. “I don’t want to talk about Jasper’s, please.”

Octavia narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips ever so slightly, but she let it drop. “Are you and my brother—“

“I don’t know.”

“Hooking up?”

Murphy bit his tongue.

“I was thinking he had a boyfriend...Jasper’s right, he did disappear on Friday. Oh my god. Oh my god! You’re sleeping with my brother, are you guys dating?”

“I, no? I don’t know? I mean yes, yes to the first part, but I don’t know to your question.” He shook his head.

“You’re blushing!” She exclaimed. “You totally like him!”

“Please lower your voice.”

She smirked for a moment before looking serious. “You’re, to my knowledge, the first guy he’s ever been with, so don’t hurt him.”

“O, you know I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I know you’re good and all, but ever since last year, you’ve been kinda attached to Finn, and—“

Murphy cringed slightly. “I’m done with Finn.” 

Octavia smiled. “Well I hope so, because Bell is way better for you.” She paused for a second. “Now I have to have this conversation with him.”

“No, no. Have what conversation?”

“That he can’t break your heart,” She mock pouted and poked above his heart. “You’re very sensitive.”

Murphy rolled his eyes, and brushed her hand away. “I’m not sensitive.”

Octavia rolled her eyes back. “Bullshit. Okay. Tell me everything. Minus the sex. Don’t share that.”

Murphy shrugged. “That’s all there is.”  _That’s a lie._

Octavia frowned, likely knowing Murphy was bullshitting her. She then shrugged and smiled. “I’m just happy.”

“I just can’t believe it took you this long to figure it out.”

“How long has this been happening?”

Murphy thought for a second. “Pretty much since I gave him that lap dance.”

Octavia’s mouth was on an ‘o’ shape. “And no one knows?”

“I mean Raven and Miller kinda figured it out. Miller...kinda unfortunate actually. He almost walked in on us.”

“I’m the last to know about everything.”

“You’re not the last to know about this, O.”

—

There was a knock at Murphy’s bedroom door after school. He had just gotten out of the shower, and he was sitting with his hair dripping slightly, and a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Come in,” He didn’t look up from the load of coursework he got from his missing week.

“Oh,” He heard Bellamy breathe out after his door opened.

Murphy’s head snapped up, automatically feeling exposed. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry, I, um,”

Murphy’s eyes narrowed. “You’re blushing.”

That caused the faint blush over Bellamy’s neck to turn bright red and spread down to his neck. Murphy couldn’t help but smirk a little. He closed his textbook and carelessly pushed his stuff off of his bed.

“I actually came because I just wanted to say Octavia knows.”

“I know.” Murphy said simply, standing up and walking closer to Bellamy, almost completely closing the distance between them. “You okay with that?”

Murphy’s eyes watched Bellamy’s throat move as he swallowed. He could feel his own pupils dilate.

“Yeah, I was actually coming to make sure you were okay with it,” He swallowed again. Murphy noticed Bellamy’s chest rising and falling just slightly quicker than normal.

“She’s, what, the third person who found out? Jasper’s on the cusp. We’re not very good at hiding.”

“Um, well if you count Finn,” Bellamy scratched the back of his neck, looking away. “That’d be fourth actually.”

Murphy took a step back, feeling a little exposed now, only in a towel, hair still wet. He felt himself blush.

“Sorry, Murph. But...we can’t keep ignoring what happened.” Bellamy bit his lip, noticing Murphy’s change in disposition.

Murphy grabbed a shirt from his bed and pulled it on, and sat on his bed. A towel was basically just a long skirt, he just needed the shirt. “ Nothing happened .” Murphy sighed out, laying back and covering his face with his hands.

“Something very well could have if I wasn’t there, and you know it.”

Murphy sat up quickly, glaring at Bellamy. “What the fuck is there to say anyway.” 

Bellamy paused for a moment. “I don’t know. Are you okay?”

“I’m fucking fine,” He bit down on his tongue harshly, he knew he shouldn’t get mad at Bellamy. He just couldn’t help but feel like he needed to crawl out of his skin at the mention of Finn, and he got defensive, in his defense.

“You don’t seem it.”

Murphy’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You skipped school for a week, I’m assuming you skipped your first class because of—“

“Don’t.”

“And who knows what he gave you! You—“

“Probably GHB,” Murphy was looking at Bellamy’s shoes. They were very clean.

Now it was Bellamy’s turn to get confused. “What do you mean probably? How would you know?”

Murphy sighed deeply. “I just know the shit he has. It’s...I did it once. If you take too much then that’s when shit hits the fan.” He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Murphy, stop scratching yourself.” He didn’t realize, but soon Bellamy’s warm hand was covering Murphy’s own hand, stilling it. 

Murphy looked at Bellamy’s hand, and then up at his eyes with his own watery ones.

Bellamy sat down next to Murphy, still holding onto his hand. He held in his next thought, which was to tell the police. Murphy was just so close to pushing him out.

“I’m sorry if I—“

“Don’t apologize for anything, Blake.” Murphy rested his head on Bellamy’s shoulder.

Bellamy kissed the top of the younger man’s wet head. “You smell so good.” He murmured more so to himself in Murphy’s hair.

Murphy let out a small, breathy giggle and looked at Bellamy with an expression he couldn’t read. Before he could ask any questions, Murphy pulled him into a deep kiss, grasping his shirt with one hand, and his messy curls in the other.

“Let’s not be a secret anymore.” Bellamy said, breaking away.

Murphy gave him a strange look. “What does that mean? We tell your friends that we’re hooking up?”

“Well tell  _our_ friends that we’re...dating?” Bellamy realized they never discussed the big ‘boyfriends’ or ‘dating’ terms yet, but something about Murphy just made him forget how to shut his mouth.

“I’m pretty sure to be dating we’d have to go on a date.”

“Let’s go on a date then.”

Murphy quirked up an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah,” He stood up. “Right now.” He held out his hand for Murphy to grab.

“I’m in a towel.”

“Well put on some clothes, because I want to be able to call you my boyfriend.”

Murphy felt himself blush deeply. He’s never had a boyfriend before.

“I mean if that’s okay with you.” Bellamy added.

Murphy rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back his smile. “How were you ever the cool kid in school?” He could barely hear his own voice over the butterflies fluttering throughout his entire body.

_Boyfriends_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading , again im so sorry for the delay . i was thriving for a bit but then old medical problems came up worse than ever before and some new stuff that i’m worried about tbh so i’ve been just sleeping and working and nothing else rlly so this chapter has taken me so long to write . for some reason when i’m sick i lose the ability to write :(  
> anyway i’m so sorry and thank you for reading !!! i hope you all enjoyed . comments and kudos are appreciated <3  
> stay safe and wear masks <3 (& vote if ure of legal age !!!)


	13. Sex and Fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry this took so long ! health update/explanation after the chapter !
> 
> also this isn’t the last chapter , i know it kinda can read that way with the last paragraph but dw i have much much much more planned for this ! thank you so much for your patience 💗

Murphy was sitting in the loveseat he usually sat in to wait for Finn, but this time he was waiting for Bellamy. All of Miller’s— _ his _ friends were there besides the Blake’s, and apparently Lincoln was coming too.

Murphy was considerably more nervous than he thought he would be. Their date went, well Murphy would hate to use the word, but it was simply wonderful. And they fucked afterwards, which Murphy needed. But they still hadn’t told the rest of the group. He supposed it wasn’t a big deal because the only people left were Monty, Jasper, Clarke, and Lexa. Okay, maybe he was just nervous about the latter pair.

Murphy heard a car pull up despiste the fogged chatter around him.

“Murphy, you’re wired up tonight.” Jasper said.

“Huh?” Murphy tore his gaze away from the opening door and the glimpse of Bellamy that showed behind it.

“Wanna smoke?”

“No,” Miller interjected. “No weed in the house.” 

Murphy vaguely heard Jasper mention them going outside when he felt warmth spread from his cheek to the rest of his body, realizing only after the fact that Bellamy had kissed him hello on the cheek. Right in front of everyone.

“Wow, so you’re just getting right to it.” Octavia smiled, sitting on the couch with Lincoln, next to Clarke, with her mouth agape.

“Is Bellamy gay or is he fucking with us right now?” Jasper asked, and Monty elbowed him in the side, with sort of a small, smug smile on his face.

“Neither, Jas. I’m bisexual.”

“And you and Murphy...” Clarke started, but waited for Bellamy to fill in the blank, which he seemed happy enough to do.

“We’re dating.”

“Murphy? Dating?” Lexa spoke up.

“I guess how you’re feeling right now is how I felt when I heard you got a girlfriend.” Murphy bit back.

“Can we not fight? Lincoln’s here,” Octavia started, cutting off Clarke before she could speak. “And—“

“He’s a great boyfriend.” Bellamy interjected. 

Murphy felt himself blush, and even though it was kind, he quite literally wanted to cave in on himself.

Monty said he knew something was up since the night of the lap dance. He said both Bellamy and Murphy had been acting off since then. Little did he know the half of it.

Bellamy was sitting on the couch next to the loveseat, and Murphy could see Bellamy staring at him through his peripheral vision.

The younger man looked at his boyfriend with a smirk. “Is there something you want, Blake?”

He blushed and took a sip of his drink, shrugging. “I dunno. It’s nice I can openly stare at you now.”

“It’d be nice he didn’t,” Murphy heard Lexa mutter to Clarke.

Murphy rolled his eyes and shut them. He had two options here. Remove himself from the situation, or start talking shit to Lexa and Clarke. And although he decided the latter would make him feel better, Bellamy probably wouldn’t be very happy. 

So Murphy stood up and grabbed Bellamy’s hand wordlessly, pulling upwards. Bellamy let him pull him up, even though he was giving him a questioning look. He just turned and walked up the stairs. He vaguely heard Octavia groan and a small chuckle from Lincoln.

Once Bellamy entered his room he half slammed it closed.

“You okay, Murph?”

“I fucking hate Lexa and Clarke. Why do they think they’re better than me?”

“Whoa, what? Murph, they don’t think that.”

“What the princess and the—“

“They just need time to get used to the situation.”

“They think I’m gonna fuck everything up and hurt you.” Murphy’s eyebrows were stitched together.

Bellamy placed his hand on Murphy’s, which was scratching at his collarbone. Murphy blushed softly and lowered his hand, looking into Bellamy’s perfect, deep brown eyes.

Bellamy’s eyes crinkled up in a small smile before he leaned down and kissed Murphy’s collarbone where the skin had become red and raw. 

It was a sensitive a slow kiss, or maybe a few kisses till he reached the nape of his neck where he contrasted the soft kisses with a mildly rough bite.

Murphy closed his eyes and let out a small moan, wrapping his hands in Bellamy’s messy curls. He felt the older man smile against his neck, and then he began to suck.

Murphy let out a small moan, and Bellamy bit down again and pulled away. “If we have sex are you going to be loud and traumatize my sister?” He asked playfully.

“Don’t think about your sister right now,” Murphy kissed him and sunk down to his knees.

“What about you?”

“I’m sure I can find a way of getting off.” He smirked and unbuttoned and unzipped Bellamy’s pants, pulling them down, leaving his boxers on.

Murphy leaned forward and let his hot breath ghost over Bellamy’s bulge. The man above him bit his lip as he watched Murphy move excruciatingly slowly. Murphy mouthed around his bulge until he was fully hard, and then he pulled his boxers down, letting Bellamy’s full and hard cock spring free.

Licking his lips, Murphy leaned forward again, taking the head of Bellamy into his warm mouth, moaning along with Bellamy. What Bellamy probably didn’t understand yet is getting Bellamy off is enough to get Murphy off. Blowing him was such a sensual experience, he always loved giving blowjobs, but Bellamy’s cock was just magnificent. 

As he took him further into his mouth, he palmed himself through his jeans. Bellamy moaned deeply above Murphy as his cock slid down his throat. He bit his lip as Murphy bobbed his head for a bit, before pulling off.

“You can fuck my mouth,” He said, lips swollen and one hand rubbing his erection through his pants. He looked absolutely sinful.

Bellamy just nodded frantically. How one person could be so hot, he would never understand. Murphy’s usual scornful gaze was now somehow innocent and sinful at the same time. They locked eyes, and Bellamy grabbed Murphy’s hair and almost moaned when said man opened his mouth, on his knees ready for Bellamy.

Bellamy pushed in, and down Murphy’s throat.

“Fuck,” Bellamy bit out when he bottomed out and Murphy didn’t even gag. His eyes were watering a bit, but Bellamy was impressed.

The older of the two pulled out and pushed back in, softly at first, but it didn’t take long to get harsh. Murphy was moaning every time Bellamy hit the back of his throat and  fuck if that wasn’t the hottest thing.

“You’re so good, Murphy. Getting off on this. You’re so hot,” Bellamy blathered.

Meanwhile Bellamy’s moans and the raw feeling of Bellamy’s cock fucking his throat open was just sending waves of heat and pleasure to Murphy’s cock. He came in his own pants while palming it furiously after Bellamy let out a deep groan, pulled his hair and came down Murphy’s throat.

Murphy struggled a bit to swallow everything, some cum leaking out of his mouth and down his chin. Bellamy sighed above him as he began to soften, and he pulled out. He looked fucked, and Murphy wondered if Bellamy looked like  that , then what did _he_ look like?

“Murph,” Bellamy said softly, wiping his thumb over Murphy’s chin, gathering the spilled cum, and pushing his thumb into Murphy’s mouth.

Murphy sucked, and Bellamy continued to talk above him. “You’re so good.”

Murphy blushed and he stood up. “How fucked up do I look?” He quirked up an eyebrow.

Bellamy looked at him for a moment. His hair was sticking up, tear streaks down his face, lips swollen, face flushed, hickey on his neck, a wet stain on the front of his pants. Fuck. Bellamy felt blood rushing south again. “About as fucked as your voice.” He paused for another moment. “Was that too—“

“There’s no such thing as too rough.”

Bellamy had pulled his pants and boxers back up again by that point already, Murphy wasn’t quite sure when he did it, but it made him feel vulnerable about the cum stain on the front of his pants. “Well there is,”

“Not with me.”

“We should, just in case, have a—“

“Are you gonna say safe word?”

“Yes,”

“How about ‘stop’? If I say ‘stop’ then just stop. We don’t need a stupid word for it.”

“Okay. Yeah. Stop works.” Bellamy looked Murphy up and down once. “Fuck, you look amazing.” He leaned forward and kissed Murphy’s reddened lips. He could taste himself on Murphy’s lips. “You look so wrecked,” He kissed the side of his mouth.

Murphy turned his head and captured Bellamy’s lips with his own, hands on both sides of Bellamy’s face.

“God, I wanna fuck you.” Bellamy muttered against Murphy’s lips.

“You could always cover my mouth?” Murphy said, pulling away ever so slightly.

“It’d be a shame not to hear you, but I guess I can make the sacrifice if you’re willing.”

—

Murphy really tried his best to ignore Lexa’s looks during lunch the next day at school, but he eventually turned to her and snapped out, “What.”

“I’m just trying to understand why Bellamy’s with you.” She replied frankly.

Clarke shushed her, and Murphy felt nauseous after hearing her. “I would say the same about why Clarke’s with you, but it makes sense. You’re both miserable.”

Clarke’s head whipped around to Murphy. “We all know you’re just gonna go off with Finn as soon as things get too serious.”

Murphy scoffed at that. Fuck Lincoln for taking away Octavia for lunch. He stood up, deciding saying nothing was probably better than opening his mouth again. 

“Murph, don’t go,” Miller lightly grabbed Murphy’s arm. 

“And let them bitch at me the entire period? No thanks.”

“Hey, that’s too far.” Raven jumped in. It was at that moment that Murphy realized the whole table was listening.

“That’s too far, but what they’re saying isn’t?”

No one said anything.

Murphy let out a short, bitter laugh. “You can all fuck yourselves.” He pulled his arm away from Miller and walked away.

As Murphy walked out of the cafeteria, he reflected on the situation, coming to the conclusion that he was the nicest he could’ve possibly been, and he deserves to get high.

Now Murphy was faced with a dilemma. Go back in and face everyone and ask Jasper and Monty for some weed, or Finn. Murphy pressed his hands into his face. Everything comes back to Finn.

Murphy stormed out of the building to the parking lot, certainly more angry than he was before he decided on going outside to Finn.

He saw the back of him, smoking a blunt. Murphy watched to make sure he took a hit of it himself before he walked over.

Murphy wordlessly signaled for Finn to hand over the blunt, which he did. Murphy took a long hit, watching a cloud form and then get lost in the air. “You do realize I’m never gonna fucking talk to you again once we graduate, right?” Murphy didn’t look at Finn, just took another hit.

“Sure you’re not.” He rolled his eyes in response.

“I don’t think you realize, Collins.” Murphy faced him. “I don’t like you. I never really did. You were just someone to either fuck or get high with, and I’ve come to realize, you’re not very good at fucking.” He let out a small laugh.

Finn, on the other hand, was not as humored as Murphy. He pushed him against the back of his truck.

“Oh, what the fuck are you gonna do?” Murphy said, he couldn’t hear himself speak, because his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. He’s never really stood up to Finn, except in the beginning. 

In the beginning of whatever Murphy and Finn had for each other, Murphy would fight back, but he soon came to realize that getting his ass completely beat was definitely not worth it, so he learned that a few punches and kicks were worth it. Quite like times with his mom. But this time Murphy was angry. More so than usual.  _ If Bellamy weren’t there... _

Murphy expected a quick punch to the face, and that’s exactly what he got. Murphy barely registered the pain before Finn was talking.

“What are you gonna do for drugs then? When your weed isn’t hitting hard enough and you need something better, you gonna whore yourself out?”

At that point Murphy started feeling the pain rising in his cheekbone and eye area.

“Fuck,” He touched the area and winced, only for that to hurt even worse. He pushed Finn away with as much force as he could, and started to walk away from the school and the parking lot. “Watch your back,  Collins.”

He vaguely heard a laughed out “for what?”, but he was already out of there.

_ Fuck Bellamy’s gonna think I’m fucking crazy. I’m always showing up to his house. Well...that’s how he started things. Fuck I should’ve just gone back into the school. What for though? To be harassed by his friends’ friends? No. I can’t walk home, because Miller’s dad is home. Fuck. The only option is Bellamy’s. He can’t get mad. That’s how he started our relationship, by just showing up at my house. He can’t be mad. Right? Shit. What if he gets mad? What if he breaks up with me? I should go back to school for sure. _

By the time Murphy came around to his decision to turn back, Bellamy was outside, just getting out of his car.

_Shit_.

“Murph?” He closed his car door and walked around the other side to be closer to Murphy.

“Hey,” He said, rather weakly.

“What happened to your eye?” Murphy could see the anger flare up in his eyes.

“I pissed off Finn. On purpose. It was my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he said automatically without even knowing the story. 

“Yes it was.”

“So what, you pissed him off so you deserve to get punched in the face?”

“Yeah,” Murphy said it like it was obvious. “If someone pisses you off, you have every right to throw a few punches.” He shrugged.

Bellamy blinked at him. “So if I were to piss you off,”

“You’re different, Blake, and you know that.”

He gave Murphy a thoughtful look. “So what’s the exception?”

“You don’t hit people you give a shit about.”

“Well good thing I don’t give a shit about Finn.”

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?”

“I’m gonna beat the shit out of him.” Bellamy’s jaw was set.

“No you are  _ not _ .”

“Why am I not?”

“Because you’d fucking kill him,” Murphy laughed out. “Fucking obviously. And I don’t want you to go to prison.”

Bellamy cracked a small smile.

“But fuck, Miller’s dad is gonna kick me out.”

His smile quickly faded, and his eyebrows knitted together. “What do you mean? Why?”

“He said if I got into one more fight then I’m out of the house.” Murphy shrugged.

“You didn’t get into a fight though. I mean, did you hit him back?”

“No,”

“So you didn’t get into a fight, you just got hit. He can’t kick you out for that.”

_ Well I’m not telling him the truth so he’ll probably kick me out.  _ “Maybe,”

“If he kicks you out, stay here.”

Murphy pursed his lips, feeling apprehensive. 

“You can stay with Octavia in her room. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. I think she’d love it.”

Murphy cracked a small smile. “Maybe,”

Bellamy took a step forward, and kissed the top of Murphy’s head, inhaling the scent of apples. He hummed softly, feeling Murphy’s arms loosely wrap around his waist. “Things are gonna be okay.”

Murphy wasn’t completely sure why Bellamy said that, but it made him feel less anxious. He leaned in, head on Bellamy’s chest.

They stood there for a while, both inhaling the scent of the other, completely unaware of the outside world around them. To Murphy, it was only Bellamy. To Bellamy, it was only them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed ! thank you for reading !!! and sorry it was dialogue heavy at the end x
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated ! <3
> 
> health update !
> 
> so like it turns out my spleen was not inflamed and rupturing like i thought but i have a food allergy (one of my favorite food rip) and i was having it every day so basically i was poisoning myself on a daily basis and that’s why i felt so sick . and then so i figured that out and then BAM i got the flu for 2 weeks straight . 14 days of a 102° fever except one night about a week and two days in when i went into hypothermic shock lmao so it was a very eventful time and i haven’t had the opportunity to write during this whole time , and now i’m getting back into the rhythm of work . anyways ! i’m sorry this took so long lmao i thought i was dying lmao
> 
> thank you !! xo

**Author's Note:**

> okay so feedback would be greatly appreciated bc i have a few different chapters from different points in the story written out annnd i wanna know if i should keep writing them or not lol  
> anyways! thank you for reading, my tumblr is arrange-me if you have any suggestions for stories  
> also !! comment what u would like to see bc i wanna make u guys happy  
> thank you again ! kudos and comments would be lovely x <3


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